Wash

EAT Date bait Le Colonial, 937 N. Rush St. 312-255-0088 Go high-end but skip the high price with the Date Night tasting menu, a three-course prix fixe that on Wednesday features your choice of Ga Xao Cari (sauteed chicken) or Mi Xao Don Chay (stir-fried veggies and tofu) plus a glass of wine. The savings continue with a 50 percent discount on optional UBER car service ($30 or less) for your ride home. 5-11 p.m. $25 per person. Follow the leader Leader Bar, 3000 W. Irving Park Road.

Go figure what promises to be the most epic NBA Finals in years--or at least the most anticipated--could potentially conclude while I'm stuck in this godforsaken place where bars are all closed during the games and it takes a satellite connection or something to beam in the Kevin Durant vs. LeBron James finals matchup. Let me say first that at the beginning of this season I called this matchup (with the Heat winning) and I stand by that. Bulls fans were deluded, Spurs, Lakers, and Celtics fans as well.

We're taking a break from our weekly bashing of the Bears' hideous offensive line. Instead, we're looking at the Bulls and Blackhawks. For openers, I'm suggesting something radical. We all know the Bulls' season is a wash. D-Rose is gone, we're going nowhere. So, let's really go nowhere! And end up somewhere! Put all the regulars on injured reserve. We'll call it an epidemic. Then we call up our entire D-League team. Please meet the Iowa Energy (we happen to share them with three other NBA teams … I have no idea)

*** (out of four) In 1984's “Red Dawn,” characters used laughable secret codes, including “John has a long mustache.” Minorities were referred to in ways that aren't even close to acceptable today. And a dad, separated from his son, screamed, “Avenge me!” It's not saying much that the new “Red Dawn” is better, but it is. By quite a bit. Where the original's chilling opening of foreign paratroopers invading Colorado and firing into a school gave way to a nonsensical tale of high school kids absolutely dominating trained soldiers, the makers of the 2012 “Red Dawn” actually took time to figure out how to make the movie work.

Zero stars (out of four) For what it's worth, metal really turns in a top-notch performance in “The Collection.” Among countless, insanely intricate killing devices, not one malfunctions. They brutally punish every human in sight, with each squish of blood and crush of bone cranked to 11 for maximum entertainment. Oh, right, this sort of gruesome, miserable torture porn isn't remotely entertaining. Yet here we go again in this totally unjustified sequel to the mediocre 2009 horror flop “The Collector,” in which a masked killer known as the Collector demonstrates astonishing skill at elaborately rigging heavy contraptions in high, complicated positions.