June 14, 2012 |
Dear Miss Manners: Don't read this column. Everyone else: I have some real advice for you. You talk about sex, right? You probably argue about politics. You might even get into some smoke-filled-freshman-dorm talk about religion. These aren't taboo anymore. But are you talking about money? You should be. Here's why. When you talk about money, you can advance your career. I know we all like to pretend this isn't how it works, but this is capitalism, baby: What they pay you reflects exactly what they think of you. Or, more accurately, what they think of you relative to your peers.
September 27, 2012 |
With the Season 5 premiere of "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" just a few days away, Cartoon Network and Lucasfilm Animation have released another clip from the season that's bursting with "Star Wars" mythology. In the clip, Darth Maul (voiced by Sam Witwer), Savage Opress (Clancy Brown), Mandalorian Pre Vizsla (Jon Favreau) and the Death Watch meet up with the leaders of the criminal organization Black Sun on the planet Mustafar. Black Sun made its first appearance in the 1996 "Star Wars" novel "Shadows of the Empire," while Mustafar is the planet where Obi-wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker had their final duel in "Star Wars: Episode III, Revenge of the Sith.
October 24, 2012 |
I'm about to commit a Chicago felony worse than ketchupping a hot dog. This column is the equivalent of moving a lawn chair out of a freshly shoveled parking spot. I'm going to compare this year's Bears defense to the immortal 1985 defense. You mighta hearda dose guys? Now, before you throw your block-letter Ditka vest at me in disgust, check the stats the 2012 team has put up so far. > > 2012 Bears through six games: 78 points allowed, 21 turnovers, 5 TDs, 21 sacks > > 1985 Bears through six games: 98 points allowed, 19 turnovers, 1 TD, 23 sacks > > Hall of Famers on 1985 defense: Dan Hampton, Richard Dent, Mike Singletary > > Hall of Famers on 2012 defense: Julius Peppers, Brian Urlacher, Lance Briggs, Charles Tillman?
November 2, 2012 |
[Because I'd like to talk about basically anything but politics for a second...] Disney paid $4 billion for “Star Wars,” and my first reaction was to drop the stupid RedEye column I was writing and finally start work on my space opera, “Planets Conflagration.” (The basic plot is there's an evil galactic dictator, a young rogue using a mysterious power, and a bunch of racist-caricature aliens eating fried chicken and driving spaceships...
November 15, 2012 |
Get ready for unwatchable. Bears backup quarterback Jason Campbell (sit this one out, Jay) runs the offense, against a wobbly Alex Smith, also recovering from a concussion. It's on a Monday night, in San Francisco. You know how well the Bears play in San Francisco. Oh, you don't? Here are some scores for you (all losses): 49-7 (2003), 44-15 (playoffs, 1994), 52-14 (1991), 41-0 (1987). This is a loss, and it's going to be so unbearable that I am formally requesting of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that this game not be televised.
September 30, 2012 |
When I began using the music program Spotify sometime last year, it changed my music-listening life. With literally any and all of the world's recorded music now available in a five second search, it was like suddenly having the Holy Grail as your morning coffee cup. I took the scrolling list of my Facebook friends on the right side of the player as a strange addendum to this revolutionary new program. After all, what did I particularly care what my friends were listening to? So what if Chad Peterson was listening to this or Laura Beatty Muteti listening to that?
April 9, 2013 |
Can you be for female empowerment in the workplace, believe there is an unjust double standard for women in every aspect of life from assertiveness to sexuality, observe Equal Pay Day and generally be just feminist as f*** while still thinking Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook COO and author of “Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead,” is a total tool? Obviously, I think the answer is yes (or I wouldn't have written this column). I have not read “Lean In” but Sandberg has been popping up everywhere, from “The Daily Show” to NPR and everything in between, so I've had to listen to her pitch several times.
November 10, 2011 |
Real talk: I've been lame lately. The decision to defy my worsening health and party until I lost my voice for a solid three days in honor of my 25th combined with my annual “it's cold outside and I should start saving for the holidays anyway” attitude has led to more frequent BYOB trips, followed by bedtimes my grandmother would laugh at. The same cannot be said for my upstairs neighbors. While I've been busy spending quality time with Netflix Instant, they've been having quite a time of it. And they have no issues sharing.
December 1, 2011 |
When I spry young pup, my momma used to carry me around by the scruff of my neck. For those of you not familiar with canine behavior, that's totally normal. Loving, even. Why do I bring this up in a column where I'm supposed to predict the weekend's NFL action and challenge you to beat me? Neckbeard, of course. Former Bear Kyle Orton is back in town, and he's likely to play against the his former team Sunday when the Kansas City Chiefs visit Soldier Field. He's not the starter, but don't worry, he'll be in. Chiefs starting quarterback Tyler Palko is terrible.
January 5, 2012 |
The Wu-Tang Clan is coming to the Congress Theater on Sunday and ... can I be honest? I'm feeling kinda weird about it. Don't get me wrong. I'm a stupid huge fan of the Killa Bees. They're amazing. I remember hearing their music on my cousin's tape deck and seeing their videos on The Box. (High-five if you remember The Box.) I even got emotional when ODB left this planet. What gets me is they're billing the show as a reunion concert, which I guess makes sense. It's rare that all eight surviving members (I don't consider hanger-on Cappadonna a full Wu-Tanger)