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Here's why I broke up with you

(Anthony Souffle / Chicago…)
May 22, 2014|By Jen Kim @thisjenkim | For RedEye

Breaking up is hard to do. Unless you're a woman, that is -- because most of the time, we're the ones doing the dumping. According to a report in Psychology today, women have initiated nearly 70 percent of divorces in the past century.

Am I surprised? Not at all -- and here are a few reasons you shouldn't be either:

1) Most of the time, we know what we like. 100 percent of the time, we know what we don't like. This includes: being cheated on, being called fat or eating the same $6-for-a-large pizza every night. Do something we don't like? We'll stop liking you.

2) We don't like rejection. A friend of mine once told me that in seventh grade, she broke up with a guy she really liked because she had heard from a friend that he was going to break up with her. It didn't matter that she really liked him. Feelings schmeelings. In the end, it was just a race to see who could reject whom first.

3) We like to be in control. Which member of your family is the force to be reckoned with? Probably Mom. Which makes sense: Mom has the power to poison our dinners, humiliate our fragile self-concepts and guilt us into oblivion. Is it a coincidence that Mom also is a woman? We're just following in her footsteps and doing the same to our partners.

4) Joseph Gordon-Levitt. The problem is you are not him and you will never be him. The other problem is we are convinced that, given the opportunity, he would fall in love with us. True story: I stalked Joseph at Canter's in Los Angeles once. We made eye contact and shared a romantic gaze. It was love at first sight ... possibly for him too.

5) We can cook, clean and function independently. Not to be sexist, but I have always been amazed by how certain men simply cannot feed or clothe themselves without adult supervision. These are college-educated individuals who have some pretty impressive resumes, yet they have never heard of conditioner or learned to wash a dish. These guys need us to survive. We, on the other hand, don't need them.

6) You cheat. We cheat. We all cheat. Most of us assume infidelity is a guy thing, but recent studies suggest that women cheat almost as much as men do. If you cheat, we'll probably break up with you. If we cheat, we'll probably break up with you (out of guilt, we found someone better, or it's obviously over ... because why else would we cheat?).

7) We're leaning in. Thanks to Sheryl Sandberg and the latest zeitgeist of girl power, women are empowering themselves at work, at home and in life. I haven't actually read "Lean In," but I've read the back of the book, and I already feel like I can do anything.

Jen Kim is a RedEye special contributor.

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