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Bears finally stick it to the Vikings

  • Stealing Jared Allen from the Vikings makes up for all the times Minnesota terrorized the Bears.
Stealing Jared Allen from the Vikings makes up for all the times Minnesota… (MCT )
March 27, 2014|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

Well, this is going to take some getting used to.

Jared Allen, longtime Minnesota Viking, is now ours. Take that, Julius Peppers. We basically traded a banged up rusty Buick for a shinier, less rusty Cadillac.

Those are terrible analogies, given that modern day cars don't seem to rust, but I'm happy with the exchange.

The question remains: How do I start liking Jared. Oh heck, you got me! I love him already! (Reminds me of the Dennis Rodman trade. Minute One: Wait! I hate that guy! Minute Two: We're going to win it all!)

Here's a little personal note: The team I hate the most in the NFC North isn't the Packers, it's actually the Vikings. And walking off with this guy almost makes up for all those years we had to watch Randall Cunningham and Dante Culpepper throw TD passes to Cris Carter and Randy Moss and everyone else, shredding our defense.

We're even.

Phil Emery, you're on fire. I don't know what you're telling these guys in meetings, but it's working. I'm guessing it's something like: Hey, I know we went 8-8. But this isn't an 8-8 team. It's actually a Super Bowl team that's missing a few key defensive pieces. We get those, we're going all the way."

Don't laugh. He's right. The Bears defense was putrid. Question: What if it was merely average? Wow. Food for thought.

More food. I guess congrats are in line for the NU football team. They won their court case and can form a union!

Um, does this mean they can go on strike, underperform and still get paid, take days off and do all the other things unions in Chicago do?

Wow. I wish their good news happened on the field. I mean that.

To that end, I normally at this point salute the start of the baseball season. Cubs at Pittsburgh on Monday, Sox host Minnesota, same day.

Let's make an agreement. I'll start talking about baseball when the weather tells me it's time, not just because they're playing games.

So, given our arrangement, I'll start covering baseball in oh, early June.

Believe me, you will not have missed anything.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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