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At least we have the Blackhawks

OPINION

  • Patrick Kane and the Blackhawks give Chicago sports fans a reason to cheer.
Patrick Kane and the Blackhawks give Chicago sports fans a reason to cheer. (Nuccio DiNuzzo/Chicago…)
January 01, 2014|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

Now that the long slow death of the Bears is finally over, there's something I've been wanting to say for a while now to all Chicago sports fans.

It's hockey season! And it has been for quite some time! Like, since October!

More good news: The Blackhawks are among the best in the NHL.

Wait, it gets better. Patrick Kane just got named to the U.S Olympic team that's going to Sochi, Russia.

Kaner, a quick tip: There's this drink called a Moscow Mule that you must try. Pro tip: There's a lot of vodka in it.

Here's another tip: You can also get that drink at any bar in Chicago and I suggest you do. It's so good when it hits your lips like that.

Let's get you updated, and then we'll obit the Bears. The Blackhawks still lead the Western Conference in points; there have been some lapses here and there, but overall, on track to be the best in the NHL. Again.

I'm making plans for Grant Park in June, but I'm an idiot.

Anyway, here's the obit.

We saw an offense we haven't seen in these parts since the '40s. The 1940's. Look it up, it's true. There are a lot of good things going on offensively. If Jay Cutler comes back, there's a salary cap number out there that's fair to all parties, and it leaves enough room for ...

A brand new defense. Earn your money, Phil Emery. You overhauled our offense in two years. We need the same on D in one year.

Again: tackles, ends, linebackers, safeties and corners. That's all. Oh, and we'll need a new defensive coordinator. Sorry, Mel Tucker. Breakdowns that bad tell me something else is going on. It's called "sending a message," and that message is "We don't tolerate this Mickey Mouse stuff. Hit the bricks, pal."

It has to be done.

Hey, we congratulate ex-Bears coach Lovie Smith for getting a gig! He's head coach of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers! Lovie, welcome. You have some defensive pieces and no offensive talent whatsoever, including no quarterback. You know how this works. You'll fit in great!

No word on whether he'll sign Rex Grossman. He's still his quarterback.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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