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Social media isn't a pickup line

OPINION

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October 21, 2013|By Anthony Roberts, @antthewriter | For RedEye

It's an undeniable fact that technology continues to change the way we live. In this day and age, we are definitely interacting with one another in very new ways. But fellas, in the case of pursuing a young lady, new doesn't always mean better. In short, stop asking for social media contacts when you first meet women!

On a recent weekend, I overheard several inquiries from guys directed at women to the effect of, "Hey, are you on Instagram?" or "I'll find you on Facebook."

Don't get me wrong—I understand the convenience of the situation. It makes for an easy icebreaker and doesn't exude a feeling of having huge expectations from the encounter. But if you're meeting a woman you'd like to have more than just a little computer love with, get her actual number.

Passively asking for her social media name can come off lazy, and it isn't the best way to get her to pay you the attention you want. Think about how many other guys have ingeniously thought of this same super-unique approach and ask yourself if you want to be lumped into the same category as them. If the answer is no, you should switch it up.

It's almost like asking, "Hey, can I have your license plate number so I can follow you?" If that seems weird to you, so should asking for Twitter handles and Instagram names straight out of the gate. In addition to somewhat identifying yourself as a stalker, you're also setting yourself up for disappointment.

Getting a woman's number will set you apart from a lot of guys who try to take shortcuts. It'll also allow you to get to know her a little, get to know the name that's on her actual driver's license (instead of, say, @Sexy_BearsFan1) and what she's really into.

Whether intentional or not, social media profiles can be extremely misleading, and you want to know whom you're actually dealing with. A woman with a profile full of party pics could in actuality be a homebody and those are the only times that she takes photos. Actually communicating is the only way for you to know.

I'm not trying to say that this is the only way to do things, not by a long shot. Just that there's a reason this is the way things were done before people lived vicariously through their smartphones. In the same way that retro things always find their way back to popularity, fellas may want to take note and be ahead of the curve on this one.

So next time you see a PYT at a party that you want to get to know better, ditch the thoughts of trying to follow her on social media. It could mean the difference between someone giving you a "like" and actually liking you.

Anthony Roberts is a RedEye special contributor.

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