Aaron Paul and Bobby Moynihan in the Drunk Uncle skit during "Weekend… (NBC )
"Saturday Night Live" opened its season with former cast member and head writer Tina Fey hosting, but Aaron Paul of "Breaking Bad" surprised everyone when he appeared as Jesse Pinkman in an Obamacare cold open.
"I have this friend and he got sick, like cancer sick. But because there wasn't Obamacare, he couldn't afford the treatments so he was, like, backed into a corner, you know what I mean?" Jesse said, speaking, of course, of Walter White.
"So he did what any of us would have done: He started cooking meth," he went on. "And soon it wasn't just meth, it was murder, you know? And not regular murder. Like he blew half a guy's face off."
A horrified Obama (Jay Pharaoh) said, "I think we can wrap this up."
Jesse protested, asking, "You don't want to know what happened to my friend?" The crowd shouted "No!"
Apparently they want to wait until the "Breaking Bad" series finale Sunday to find that out.
Update 11:05 p.m.: Paul appeared in a mock commercial for EMeth, the e-cigarette to smoke meth. "EMeth, you know it's good cuz it's blue, bitch," he said, using Jesse's "Breaking Bad" catchphrase.
Update 11:40 p.m.: And it's a 3-peat for Paul: He showed up as Drunk Uncle's Meth Nephew.
"Seth, Meth; Meth, Seth," Uncle said.
"Hey Seth, I got a knock-knock joke for you," Meth said.
"No, I am the one who knock-knocks," Uncle shouted, as Moynihan and Paul both broke character. "It's from the show," Moynihan said, then they both started singing, "I Want to Dance with Somebody."
I'll post video as soon as they are made available onlne--and I'll be back with more comments on the season premiere.
OK, so I was planning on recapping the skits for tonight's Season 39 premiere before the Aaron Paul surprises started happening. I'll just start that right here.
We knew it was going to be an interesting opener as "SNL" is working through a transition in which it lost Bill Hader, Jason Sudeikis and Fred Armisen. Later this season, Seth Meyers will say good-bye. Six new cast members were introduced tonight--um, five white guys and one white woman. (Just pointing it out.)
"SNL" brought back nine-season veteran Tina Fey to host, but it didn't use her all that well. Let's get to critiquing the skits individually. Again, i'll add video when it becomes available. And feel free to comment if you agree, disagree or just don't care. But be civil, you idiots!
Obamacare cold open
This skit about the Affordable Care Act turned out to be one of the few topical skits of the night. Obama (Jay Pharaoh) introduces citizens who are excited for or pissed about Obamacare. New cast members show up in the skit, but Kate McKinnon is the most memorable "SNL" player as a stressed out ER doctor with advice on how to cut costs. "Obamacare or no Obamacare, people need to stop putting stuff up their butts," she says, "Don't you dare tell me you fell on a toy fire truck." Aaron Paul steals the sketch, however. See above. A long sketch with only a few winning moments.
Tina Fey's monologue
Tina Fey wants to do all her most famous recurring characters, like "Johnny Jean Jacket," "Salvadore Dolly Parton" and "Queef Latina." Fey takes the opportunity to introduce the six new cast members. (Did I mention they are all white?) Fey makes them do what she claims all new cast members must—dance awkwardly behind the host. In bedazzled tails, black shirts and gold lame shorts, they dance and sing and it's … just … not … funny. So, I thought we were going to get to know the new cast members? Maybe later.
New cast member Noel Wells plays Hannah Horvath in this "Girls" spoof that introduces her new Albanian roommate, Blertha (Fey). Hannah is happy to hear the Blertha also suffers from OCD, until she learns that for Blertha it is "Old Cow Disease"—which is why Blertha has a rubber hand. When Blertha learns that Hannah is 24 and not 15, she says, "24, what the [bleep] is wrong with you." Fey got the funny lines, but the regular cast did spot on impressions of the real "Girls" cast—especially Vanessa Bayer as Shoshanna.
A sketch that calls out every possible airline passenger should be funnier than this. I did laugh at Kenan Thompson's oversized carry-on, but only because that kind of passenger bugs the shit outta me when I fly.