Will Ferrell couldn't find child care so he brings the kids on stage with him to present the final awards of the evening.
"Modern Family" wins the best comedy Emmy again. Steven Levitan accepts the Emmys and sums up the whole night: "This may be the saddest Emmys of all time, but we could not be happier."
"None of us grew up feeling like winners," he went on, "so thank you to the bullies, to the popular kids, to the gym teachers who taunted us, who rejected us, who made fun of the way we ran. Without you, we would have never gone into comedy."
"Breaking Bad" wins the best drama Emmy award. "Holy crap," Vince Gilligan says, apparently not expecting the win.
And that's the show.
"Behind the Candelabra" wins best miniseries or movie, too.
Michael Douglas wins best actor in a miniseries for playing Liberace in "Behind the Candelabra." "This is a two-hander," Douglas says, being a bit naughty. "So you deserve half of this. You want the bottom or the top?" Liberace, famously closeted in life, would not be amused. Or would he?
Hugo my cat won't stop meowing. Even he's bored with the Emmy telecast.
Ellen Burstyn wins supporting actress for "Political Animals" for playing "a woman over 65 who still has a lot of juice," she says.
Steven Soderbergh wins directing Emmy for "Behind the Candelabra." He thanks Michael Douglas and Matt Damon.
Best supporting actor for a miniseries or movie goes to James Cromwell for "American Horror Story: Asylum."
Abi Morgan wins best writing honor for "The Hour," which has been canceled. Oops.
These cutaways with Shemar Moore backstage are creepy, timewasting and useless.
I'm hoping the next in memoriam tribute will be for in memoriam tributes.
Edie Falco pays tribute to her "The Sopranos" co-star James Gandolfini.
"The Colbert Report" wins best variety show. "It's a cliche to say it's an honor just to be nominated," Colbert says. "It's more than that; it's also a lie. This is way better."
Derek Hough of "Dancing with the Stars" wins the choreography Emmy. "Holy crap," he says.
There has never been a performance of the choreography nominees on the Emmys until tonight, Harris says. Then we're shown why there hasn't. Just kidding!
Although this show has got to be running long, right?
Michael J. Fox pays tribute to Gary David Goldberg.
Don Roy King wins variety show director for "Saturday Night Live."
Hard to believe Bob Newhart won his first Emmy just last week, but he gets a standing ovation tonight before presenting the variety series writing award to "The Colbert Report."
"Wow, the Emmys are so good this year," Colbert cracks. "I want to thank my wife ... for being so cruel and sexy."
Outstanding guest actor winners Carrie Preston and Dan Bucatinsky give a directing Emmy to David Fincher for "House of Cards."
Jimmy Fallon has some fun with a moving microphone, but it isn't as funny from this side of the screen. Claire Danes of "Homeland" wins another Emmy for best actress. She pays tribute to Henry Bromell.
Musical interlude with Carrie Underwood. Fill your wine glasses.
Best actor/drama goes to--what?--Jeff Daniels for "The Newsroom." "Well crap," Daniels says, then jokes that he's only won "best actor over 50" from the AARP.
Funny speech, but "Breaking Bad" is shut out in both actor and supporting actor categories? New blood is definitely flowing tonight.
Kerry Washington and Diahann Carroll bring their mutual admiration society to the stage. "It's been such a long time since I've been standing in this place, I don't know what to do," Carroll says. "But the men are much more beautiful than when I was doing television. I don't know where you came from, but I'm very happy to see you."
They present the best supporting actor/drama award to Bobby Cannavale for "Boardwalk Empire."
"I didn't write anything down," Cannavale says, then manages to thank just about everyone he knows.
"The Voice" wins outstanding reality series.
Finally, Harris sings. "The Number in the Middle of the Show" brings out the Emmy Gold Dancers, Nathan Fillion and Sarah Silverman. "The Emmy Awards are three hours long" go the lyrics. Let's hope no longer.
"Cory was a beautiful soul," "Glee" star Jane Lynch says in a tribute to Cory Monteith.
Anna Gunn wins the supportiong actress Emmy for "Breaking Bad." She seemed to get booted from the stage fast.
For some reason tonight the announcer is telling us where the actors were born.
The cast of "How I Met Your Mother" explain that Neil Patrick Harris is suffering from EHD--Excessive Hosting Disorder. They send him off to the Ryan Seacrest Center for Excessive Hosting. Funny pre-taped bit.
The Emmy for outstanding writing in drama goes to Henry Bromell for "Homeland." Bromell died earlier in the year so his wife aceepted the award.