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Dontblogyourbreakup.com

OPINION

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August 22, 2013|By Stacey Andeen, @curvesandnerves | For RedEye

"Some days I feel like I was just a palette cleanser between his last girlfriend and whoever comes next - just a means to exorcise the demons."

—Me, in a blog post a few years ago

Sometimes life sneaks up on you and smacks you upside the head with something like a breakup or a friend being a jerk or someone just not returning your texts.

There are any number of reasons for people to feel sorry for themselves, but having a pity party about it on the Internet is rarely the best solution.

Take it from someone—as the above quote indicates—who's been there: Stop barfing your sad feelings all over the Web. Stop with the vague, sad Twitter and Facebook updates. Knock it off with the angsty blog posts.

I know you have a lot of Feelings (the capital F is very necessary) right now and are trying to write your way out of them. Maybe this is your creative outlet for it all.

Back in the day, you may have updated your AIM away message with something you thought was pithy and instead was riddled with angst. This sort of social media feelings-vomit is basically the same thing. (Side note: I sort of miss AIM sometimes.)

Believe me, one day you will look back at all the sadness and self pity you have spewed onto the Internet and it will be embarrassing, and you will wish you hadn't documented the whole thing is such exquisite detail.

You know the real reason you're doing this is because you want the person who made you sad to see it and apologize or whatever other action will make you feel better. That will not happen. No amount of Internet BS has ever caused someone to have a change of heart.

So stop wallowing. Get out of your house. Read a book. Go on a long bike ride (and wear a helmet). Take your dog for a long walk and don't bring your phone with you because you know all you'll do is check it to see if (s)he is texting you — and believe me, (s)he isn't. And if (s)he magically is, (s)he can wait a half-hour or whatever until you get home.

Live-blogging (or tweeting, or whatever) your descent into sadness probably is not going to make you feel better. It'll get you some attention from your friends, and some strangers who read your tweets, but it won't solve your problem. Rather than sending out vague, angst-riddled transmissions, sit down with the people who are making you sad and talk things out. In person, preferably.

Speaking as someone who has most definitely—and regrettably—blogged her share of breakups, I can offer these words of wisdom: It doesn't fix anything, and when you go back and reread all the sad stuff you put out there, it'll only make you bummed out all over again.

The stuff that made you bummed out will pass. The person who hurt your feelings might apologize, and might not. Life will go on. You will be great. You will be fine. And that thing that you'll do with your hair will be awesome.

Stacey Andeen is a RedEye special contributor.

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