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Cutler and K-Cav join the big leagues

We have their future all planned out

  • Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari attend a fundraiser July 18 in Chicago.
Jay Cutler and Kristin Cavallari attend a fundraiser July 18 in Chicago. (Chris Sweda/Chicago Tribune )
July 29, 2013|By Dana Moran, @redeyedana | RedEye

And baby makes ... four? Well, not just yet. But Kristin Cavallari says she and her new hubby, Bears QB Jay Cutler, may not be far off. "We are both ready for baby No. 2," she told E! News. "I don't have any announcement today, that's for sure, but we're gettin' there." (Does Jay know about this?) To give Chicago's No. 1 hottest football/beach-themed reality show couple more time to talk about giving 10-month-old Camden a brother or sister, we decided to plot the next few decades of their lives. Because there's nothing creepy about that, right?

2015

Jay: After re-signing with the Bears for another four seasons at the end of 2013, he proceeded to make the Super Bowl—almost.

Kristin: Pregnant with baby No. 4—her second time around turned out to be twins! Us Weekly did a pretty serious examination of THAT post-pregnancy weight loss (read: thighs).

2025

Jay: At 42, he's just glad to have beaten Brett Favre's retirement age. The bad news? He was traded long ago to the North Dakota Cattlerustlers—which formed in 2021.

Kristin: OMG, you guys. Thirty-eight is SO NOT THE NEW 20. LC was lying her skinny ass off. But Biggie wasn't—mo' kids, mo' problems. Camden just loves stealing dad's trucks and taking them for a joyride.

2035

Jay: Loving life as a North Dakota marijuana farmer. Good thing the U.S. legalized widespread use in 2027—and scientists also discovered that North Dakota is the PERFECT growth climate

Kristin: Selling sun hats and personalized flip-flops as part of her new QVC line, "Laguna's Best." And yes, QVC still exists in 2035, after nearly tanking a few years earlier when the network tried switching to robot hosts.

2045

Jay: Retires to Boca Raton, where he sticks a straw in a grapefruit and sits under a palm tree most of the day. Having two sons playing pro baseball helps fund that, but he's still miffed that Camden managed to overshadow his Chicago fame. Being a member of the World Series-winning Cubs will do that for a guy.

Kristin: After undergoing a miraculous new surgery that helps her permanently look 29, she leaves Jay for a string of 40-year-old sugar daddies who have no clue about her real age. And no, they don't recognize her from TV.

damoran@tribune.com

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