Bradley Cooper takes a selfie at the Palm Springs International Film Festival… (Getty Images )
This is a selfie intervention. Not because you are posting too many, but because you aren't posting right. I am a firm believer in the "go hard or go home" philosophy and, quite frankly, you aren't going hard enough.
I love you. I love being your friend on Facebook and following you on Twitter. I even love seeing your image every time you get a haircut, a new outfit, a mani/pedi, a vintage hat or a rash.
It's clear that you love your image too. You're in love with your own image. I'm OK with that. And I'm OK with you expressing that love by showing me your image over and over again.
It's just that I feel some kind of way about the captions to your selfies. You have gone from posting your image to documenting your life with your image. And that's a problem. I feel manipulated—like you want to post a picture of yourself for me to see but you're not comfortable just posting your picture, so you add a caption to try to make it relevant.
The other day, you posted a picture of your face with the caption, "Niece's graduation. So proud of her." Huh? What does your face have to do with your niece, graduation or pride in her finishing school?
The day before, the caption was, "So much drama in the streets. We need to change." Once again, it was your face. What are you doing? What's the connection? AND it wasn't even a selfie with an "I'm seriously pondering the plight of inner-city violence" look on your face. It was your standard selfie face—the same face that is in all your pictures regardless of the caption.
It doesn't make any sense. You want to show me a picture of yourself, then just do it. There's no need to justify the posting of a self-portrait. (BTW: When your "watching the Trayvon Martin trial" selfie is the same as your "pop the molly I'm hashtag sweating" selfie, you're doing it wrong.)
I don't know what's going on. Maybe your own vanity bothers you. Maybe your narcissism makes you uncomfortable. Every time you pull out your picture-taking device you have two options: point it at the world or point it at yourself. And photo albums don't lie. You're pointing it at yourself. I'm OK with you. Why aren't you?
Accept the fact that you are in love with your image and stop with the unrelated captions. Just show me your image. If you really feel the need to add a caption, try "Look at me!" Or if it's picture No. 250, try "Look at me again!"
I have connected with you on social media because I want to socialize with you. And I would hope that you want to socialize with me. When you tell me about your life, show me pictures that match what you're talking about. Please.
I'm not saying do away with the selfies. If you post a selfie, I will look at it and I may even like it. I'm just saying that when you tell me you are at the Farmer's Market buying vegetables, I fully expect to see pictures of organic tomatoes or a hippie hustling out of a wooden crate. Not a picture of your face.
Yusef Williams is a RedEye special contributor.
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