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Fireworks you won't find in Illinois

10 WTF

  • Yes, that's an Ewok attempting to slay a Chipmunk.
Yes, that's an Ewok attempting to slay a Chipmunk.
July 03, 2013|By Mick Swasko, @swasko | RedEye

When it comes to fireworks on the Fourth of July, Illinois is lame. 

The closest you'll get to a lightshow in Chicago is sitting on your roof watching neighbors who drove to Wisconsin or Indiana lighting off their stash, or lighting a super lame sparkler from Jewel. 

Yeah, we're missing out, Chicago. Firework manufacturers have some of the most bizarre (and sometimes offensive) brand names. Here's a crop of some of the oddest, most of which are actually being sold right now. 

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