James Nesbitt as Bofur, Martin Freeman, front, as Bilbo Baggins, Stephen… (HANDOUT / McClatchy-Tribune )
June 11, 2013|By Dana Moran | RedEye
What the Smaug? The teaser trailer for "The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug" dropped Wednesday, and if you're a big fan of elves and swordplay, you'll definitely be excited about this second installment of the THREE-PART adaptation of the 310-page book. (For the uninitiated, Smaug is a dragon, not the smoke monster from "Lost," although that might liven things up.) We broke the trailer down for you in case you're not planning on spending three hours watching the movie, which hits theaters Dec. 13.
Voiceover: "Where does your journey end?" Well, certainly not here, we've got A WHOLE 'NOTHER MOVIE AFTER THIS.
It's really a testament to how enormous the elf lands are that they make people look like teeeeeeny tiny ants walking around. Don't squish them, bro.
Oh hey, voiceover guy. That's a really prissy crown you have there.
Hanging in the top of this tree with a zillion giant butterflies is the happiest Bilbo Baggins will be for a long-ass time.
"Do not think I won't kill you, dwarf." What's up, Legolas! Wait a sec, YOU AREN'T IN THIS BOOK!
"When did we allow evil to become stronger than us?" Whenever someone also decided you should magically appear not from the book, Evangeline Lilly.
No, this mountain of treasure does not belong to Scrooge McDuck, but that was a solid guess. Speaking of which, remember that "Duck Tales" movie? It was probably a lot better than this.
Voiceover: "In time all foul things come forth." Yeah, but this orc or whatever seems to have gotten a lot prettier. Thanks, technology!
Gandalf has nothing on this dude as far as beards are concerned.