Call me when these teams get to terrible

April 25, 2013|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

It's that time again.

Hockey playoffs, basketball playoffs, NFL Draft and baseball.

It's a lot, but we should acknowledge one thing first. It is going to be one long baseball season here in Chicago. My hat goes off to two pawns who will be paying the price for prior mistakes.

Dale Sveum to the north, and Rick Hahn on the South Side.

First, Sveum. By the time the Cubs rebuild their franchise, this guy will be so far gone. First off, it's only April and he got a vote of confidence from his GM. That's a bad sign. Not that he got one. That he needed one. In April.

I saw where Sveum threatened demotions to guys like … Starlin Castro and Anthony Rizzo.

Great! The stars of the future! See them now at discounted prices! In Iowa!

Starlin Castro. Nice defense! It's just sick. If this team ever gets it right, they better send Sveum a ring. He'll be in a mental institution by then, but he'll wear it.

The White Sox. OK, I ran out of words two years ago in describing how awful Adam Dunn was.

Somehow, however, he's worse now. The guy is hitting right around .100. I wish he were hitting a hundred points higher! Then he would be just terrible!

I'm praying for terrible? I love you, Chicago. You're such a bizarre corner of the universe.

Again, it's only April. So if you love these teams now, wait until August!

Oh, the other pawn may be Hahn. The poor guy takes the GM job and has to clean up the mess left by Kenny Williams. Bad trades, no farm system. Fix this!

We'll leave it on an upbeat/downbeat note.

Upbeat: The Bulls have shown grit and determination by taking a game in Brooklyn against the Nets.

Downbeat: Grit and determination, I'm afraid, are all they have.

Yes, Joakim Noah is tougher than nails, but guess what? Plantar fasciitis? It's the kiss of death!

No one gets that and gets better and has a long NBA career.

So if you're wondering why Derrick Rose hasn't come back yet, forget it.

You wouldn't be back either.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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