To the men of Chicago: Stop texting women!
I know, calling a girl sounds more terrifying than getting a prostate exam from Carrot Top. And for the half of you who aren't afraid but simply lazy, fine. But it's time for change.
Today, I urge girls everywhere to embrace the hashtag #girlsagainsttexting. This is not a joke or a suggestion. This is an order. We as a gender must reclaim the power that technology has stolen from us. I want this hashtag trending until every man in Chicago realizes we no longer will put up with the communication equivalent of wearing a sweat suit to the airport.
I know this might make some women nervous—texting is often our main form of communication. But let me assure you, not texting will weed out every guy who has put you on his back burner.
Think about it: Men use texting as a way to string you along and keep you as an "option." Ever wonder why Friday night rolls around and you get a text at 8:48 p.m. asking, "What are you up to?" It's because he knows he doesn't have to take you on a date; you will restructure your night around him when and if he decides to see you.
Here's the harsh reality: Guys will put forth the least amount of effort required to get the desired result and often are texting several girls at a time. If you're getting weekend texts to meet up, you're an option, not a priority.
Now, let's say you ignore that text. He will wonder. His wonder will turn to panic. That panic—if he really likes you—eventually will turn into a phone call to make sure you're not dead. Suddenly, you're not on the back burner because getting in touch with you required effort.
Somehow women understand this concept in every area of our lives but our relationships. Which would you value more—a free shirt or a shirt you saved up to buy? Sure, the free shirt is perfectly good—in fact, it's always an option if you're out of clean clothes. But damn, don't you love that shirt you saved up for? You want to wear it all the time, show it off and dry clean it. The free shirt? You didn't do much to get it and it's completely replaceable.
I know what every guy is thinking: "If she doesn't respond to my text, I'll assume she doesn't like me and move on." That's BS. Many marriages are the result of a man who, if taken to court, could've qualified as a stalker at the beginning of the relationship. When a man really wants a girl, he will stop at nothing.
Obviously, the elimination of texting will be an adjustment for women, which is why I allow one response to a guy via text. Tell him you gave up texting everyone for Lent and that in your religion, Lent lasts all year. Or send a text back that looks like this: "sujtjrry ktdffbotrd nbroken cafgll me." Or just tell him you're "not really into texting." Leave it that. He'll call.
You will be amazed by the results. Suddenly, you'll have advance plans and dates galore. You'll never wonder when you'll hear from him next. You will experience unintended results like unchipped manicures and more time to devote to "Candy Crush." Oh, the possibilities!
Sorry, guys. Playtime is over. #girlsagainsttexting
Molly Fedick is a RedEye special contributor.
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