Jeah girl, it's like he's living in there now! Highly decorated Olympic swimmer and all-around village idiot Ryan Lochte's new show, "What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" premieres at 9 p.m. Sunday, which means only one thing: huge publicity blitz. Ryan talked to Cosmo about his turn-ons (independence) and turn-offs (smoking) when it comes to the ladies. We've got some ideas of our own about Lochte's likes and don't-likes, as Chief Keef would say.
-- Multiple piercings (where Mom can't see them)
-- Synchronized divers (double the fun, JEAH!)
-- Glittery baseball caps
-- Good cooks (PB&J for LIFE)
-- Booty dancing (bounce bounce, bounce bounce JEAH!)
-- Slutty librarians (so much to teach me!)
-- That genie chick who lives in a lamp on "I Dream of Jeannie"
-- Large animal tattoos. They scare me in the dark!
-- Water polo players
-- Cargo pants
-- Michael Phelps' mom
-- Redheads (Full of trouble)
-- Regular librarians (too much to teach me!)
-- Jasmine from "Aladdin" (does she ever stop talking?)
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