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Something's rotten in Wrigleyville

  • Anthony Rizzo is one of the few reasons Cubs fans should be hopeful. According to Bag Boy, that's about all they've got.
Anthony Rizzo is one of the few reasons Cubs fans should be hopeful. According… (Anthony Souffle / Chicago…)
April 11, 2013|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

I'd like to talk to you about a very special word used here in Chicago.

That word is "patience" and Cubs fans are once again being asked for it.

One of the seven heavenly virtues. The question: How much do Cub fans have?

I walked off this job long ago, but anyone who has seen this team this year knows this:

At the major league level, they have … nothing. I'll give you Anthony Rizzo for the future and maybe Starlin Castro when he's not in la-la land, but that's it for position players.

Pitchers. I think I'm going to pass out. Jeff Samardzija is the No. 1; he's a No. 3 on any other team. The others, guys like Edwin Jackson and Carlos Villanueva, are here because the Cubs hung out a sign that said, "Hey, we need some guys to eat some innings in 2013. Anyone apply."

I think, though I'm not sure, it was a Craigslist posting. I responded, haven't heard.

Oh, and Carlos Marmol. I don't want to pile on.

Wait! That's exactly what I want to do! Get lost! Beat it! How many times have you lost this job already?

I don't know what Theo Epstein and Jed Hoyer are thinking, but I hope they're not actually following the 2013 team. I fear they would lose faith in what they're doing.

Speaking of losing faith, what happened to that stadium renovation deal that was announced on Opening Day? Oh, yeah, this is Chicago. Nothing's that easy!

I smell a bad deal. I smell someone trying to jam something in that shouldn't be. I smell a repeat of Soldier Field. I smell Wrigley Field one day looking like a spaceship, with a massive Jumbotron topped off by a hotel, casino and parking structure! Lots of neon signs, entertainment, dancing. Vegas!

Didn't mean to go all Bugsy on you. So sorry. You have been warned, however. It will be ugly.

I picture a lot of people leaving games right after the second-inning stretch.

The Sox should send thank-yous. Merely average, the Cubs make them look unbeatable.

To the future! (Please wake me when it's here.)

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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