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Don't get your hopes up, Wildcats

  • New Northwestern basketball coach Chris Collins has his work cut out for him.
New Northwestern basketball coach Chris Collins has his work cut out for… (Chris Walker / Tribune )
April 04, 2013|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

Yeah, that's not going to work.

Sorry to rain on the purple parade, but I'm not seeing Chris Collins hitting it big with Northwestern basketball. A couple of things.

A) It's a really tough, tough neighborhood. As in, even if you're good, you're ninth.

B) Um, not really sold on the success of Duke assistants. Tommy Amaker, Quin Snyder, Jeff Capel, Johnny Dawkins … not seeing much here.

C) Northwestern. If you're really good, and smart, you're probably going to Duke. If not, you're going to Stanford. I just don't see where Northwestern fits in.

Love the kid, love the story and remember him as a ball boy when his dad coached the Bulls. But this is different. Here's some advice: Go local. At least try and get some Chicago kids. Create a tradition that way.

The good news for Collins? It looks like Coach K lets you come back!

Give me something to watch besides the Bulls. I'm glad they're good at tackling, because they're going to need to do that against every team to win, apparently. And Kirk Hinrich is the walking definition of "done." Confession: Never liked him at Kansas never liked him on the Bulls (remember we tried to get Dwyane Wade instead? Ouch), and never liked him the second stint with the Bulls. Someone end this.

But, they got us to baseball season, good job!

Unfortunately, that means watching Carlos Marmol as the Cubs closer. They say he's on "a short leash." Well, that's actually a "choke collar" and it's used to train Rottweilers. Please trade him or release him before something bad happens.

It looks brighter for the White Sox. The Bag went to Opening Day and can confirm A) Chris Sale is a bona fide stud B) We may be OK with Tyler Flowers catching C) People in Chicago aren't as crazy about sports as they are about their booze.

But we drown ourselves in sorrow, don't we?

Speaking of sorrows, why do I have this awful feeling that no matter how great the Blackhawks are, they're actually only second best to the Anaheim Ducks?

I'll join the crowd and have some booze, I think.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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