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Snow: The sexiest precipitation

OPINION

(Associated Press file photo )
February 13, 2013|By Ana Fernatt, @accidentallysxy | For RedEye

Winter storms get me a little hot under the down jacket, eight sweaters and six pairs of socks. I know I'm not the only one. There is always a big baby BOOM-shaka-laka nine months after a blizzard. You know who you are!

I don't care how much technology surrounds us or how evolved we claim to be as a species, but humans go cray for the weather. I never have to go outside to know if there is even the slightest hint of precipitation—my Twitter and Facebook feeds will be packed with alerts of "It's snowing!" "Rain!" or "I'm so confused, what is this falling from the sky?!?"

The weather is something big and out of our control. We are primal beings, and we are fascinated. It's from this primitive place that our lust emerges. Weather reminds us in the simplest of ways that there is something bigger than ourselves. That some things aren't super certain.

A light dusting of snow may not cause a significant change in your life, but it will alter your decisions that day. You can't stop the snow from coming down, so you just have to find ways to deal with it. And that turns us all on.

There's something about the drama of it all. The wind is howling atmospherically. The dropping temperatures mean body heat is key. You really don't want to deal with going out and doing anything ... not in that mess, no way. You've got to find something to keep you busy. And getting busy is the best solution.

Why do you think the shelves in the liquor store are so bare right before a snowstorm? I'll tell you why. Because I just visited that liquor store. Here is what is in my snow preparedness kit: alcohol, hot chocolate, fixins, frozen pizza, candles, a big blanket, Netflix and a flashlight. Sometimes it's just alcohol. But I am always prepared.

Even The Weather Channel wants a piece of the action. They're starting to name winter storms. Nemo? Not so great. Let's name them after characters from romance novels. Fabio? Dorian? Let's get it on ... I mean with it. Let's get with it.

I'm sure it was really difficult being the president of the El Nino fan club in high school, and mastering the names of cloud formations probably didn't get you a ton of tail in college, Weather Channel. This is your chance to shine, guys!

It's February, which means we have only a month or two left of this sweet, chilly action. Summer doesn't have to be the only season that's hot.

Ana Fernatt is a RedEye special contributor.

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