You are here: Home>Collections>Beer

15 reasons I want to get a beer with Hillary Clinton

OPINION

  • Hillary Clinton prepares to take a shot of Crown Royal during a campaign stop in 2008 in Crown Point, Ind.
Hillary Clinton prepares to take a shot of Crown Royal during a campaign… (Associated Press file photo )
January 24, 2013|By Niki Fritz, @fritzfrack | For RedEye

It's been an intense month for Madam Secretary Hillary Clinton. After recovering from a fall, the subsequent concussion and a blood clot, Clinton spent six hours Wednesday giving testimony about the terrorist attack in Libya. On behalf of the American people, I would like to treat Clinton to a beer after a doozy of a week. Here are the Top 15 reasons why I want to grab a brew with her.

1. Clinton is the [bleep]. She has been my hero since I was 11. I still remember parts of her 1996 speech at the U.N. Women's Conference in Beijing. She taught me that women could be more than teachers or mommies, that women could speak up and make a difference, that women were valuable in the public sphere. I so loved Hillary that I named my blond Barbie after her.

2. Hillary's got rock-star name cred on par with Beyonce and Shakira. What other political lady doesn't need a last name to be identified? You say "Hillary kicked some ass last week," and no one thinks you are talking about Hilary Duff.

3. She is just really freaking cool. Don't believe me?! See the Texts from Hillary meme. She contributed her own meme to the Tumblr. Lady looks good in shades and has a sense of humor.

4. She is able to cut through the bull. Whether it is political rhetoric about Benghazi or the latest insulting headline about her clothing choices, Hill gives a big ole #whatdifferencedoesitmake and gets to the heart of the matter.

5. That hippy picture of her from Wellesley just makes me want to talk feminist theory with her after a shot or two of whiskey.

6. Because my dad hates her. As much as I love my father, there is a direct correlation between things he hates and things I love. Examples include: the entire city of Chicago, pop music, squirrels, almost all of my boyfriends, cute babies, "facepage" and Hillary Clinton.

7. She's not afraid to be real and look real. We've all seen the "au naturel" photos and we've heard the ponytail debate. But no matter how much the media mocks what she looks like, Hillary wears what she wants. That is pretty baller.

8. From weathering the Monica Lewinsky scandal to losing the 2008 primary, Hillary is resilient as all heck. She doesn't let scandal or even failure define her. She continues to persevere even when everyone else counts her out.

9. Because I've always really liked power pantsuits.

10. I have a feeling she'd give some amazing boy advice. Rumor is she made the moves on Bill and decided she liked him because he wasn't afraid of her.

11. I bet she totally has Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's numbers on speed dial. The only thing better than a beer with Hillary would be a beer with Hillary, Tina and Amy.

12. Remember when Bill got elected and people said it was like getting two for the price of one? Hillary is never a sidekick but always this awesome partner. I bet she would be a great wingwoman as well.

13. Because I want to hear what she really thinks of Sarah Palin after a few drinks.

14. Because you know she would order something wicked like a Fin Du Monde and not some light beer crap.

15. I would like to thank her for some of those 22 million cracks she put in the freaking glass ceiling. Thank you, Hillary Rodham Clinton, for your service to this country for more than 20 years and for being a super-cool role model, better than any Barbie.

Niki Fritz is a RedEye special contributor.

Want more? Discuss this article and others on RedEye's Facebook page

RedEye Chicago Articles
|
|
|