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NHL gives us the Twitter of sports seasons

  • The Blackhawks' Niklas Hjalmarsson (from left), Sheldon Brookbank (17) and Brent Seabrook take a breather during practice Wednesday.
The Blackhawks' Niklas Hjalmarsson (from left), Sheldon Brookbank… (Jose M. Osorio/Chicago…)
January 10, 2013|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

I would like to send out a quick thank you note to the Chicago Blackhawks.

For two things. The first is for coming back and giving us some hockey, helping us through the winter malaise.

Secondly, for inadvertently inventing a much needed cure for winter sports.

Ladies and gentlemen, the 48-game season.

It's the perfect compliment to our ADD-riddled, hyperactive, social media culture. It's the Twitter of sports seasons.

And you love it. Here's why: Everything we need to know, we can find out in 48 games. If you're average, great, or horrible after 48, what's another 34 going to prove?

For instance, I don't need another 34 games to know the Blackhawks really haven't done anything to fix their problems from last year.

I don't need 82 games to know Corey Crawford isn't the answer. I don't need 82 games to know we're a pretty soft bunch with no real enforcer. I don't need 82 to know Patrick Kane isn't a center.

48 plus an early out in the playoffs should do it.

Some more thank-yous:

Notre Dame. Hey, you made it all the way back. You are now relevant again! Kids know who you are! It matters!

And Alabama blew you away. I mean, it was a stomping. So please, maybe you should hang out down there where Northwestern does. High enough to be talked about, but not too high where you risk humiliation. See? There's a home for you in a Florida bowl game. Just Jacksonville, not Miami.

Speaking of humiliation, stay seated, Sammy Sosa and others. That name will never be called. Ever.

But hey, '98 was fun. Thanks for the fake memories.

Nothing fake about the Bears' pursuit of Mike Singletary. For NFL Films watchers: I don't like this kind of party. Not going to be here all day.

No, old blood no good. Also, I'm not crazy about Bruce Arians being our next head coach. Why? Because he's sick all the time! Makes me nervous. No, Phil Emery. Stay on target with Mike McCoy and maybe Rick Dennison.

Young and offensive-minded wins this race.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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