While we're getting all pumped up about the winter return of shows like "Girls" and "Downton Abbey" and emotionally prepping for the end of "30 Rock," we almost forgot about another delicious subset of TV: reality. Our friends over in the "real" world have been cooking up some exceptionally ... interesting ... ideas to get us through the bleak months to come. Follow our scale, from least to most ridiculous, to decide what you'll be watching next.
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"The Face" Oxygen
The concept: "America's Next Top Model" judge Nigel Barker escapes Tyra Banks' clutches to hold almost the exact same show on a different network.
Watch it? We would, but Tyra might be monitoring our DVRs.
"What Would Ryan Lochte Do?" E!
The concept: The Olympic swimmer hunts for lady love and continues his training regimen while reminding all of us how much we liked him before we realized he's a buffoon.
Watch it? Yes, on mute. So pretty ...
"Too Young To Marry?" Oxygen
The concept: Teen couples want to get married, despite the protestations of their loved ones (i.e., people who know better).
Watch it? Nope. Hasn't this been done at least six times already?
The concept: "Jersey Shore" in West Virginia. The previews almost make the "Shore" kids look civilized in comparison.
Watch it?: No, ma'am.
"Find Me My Man" Oxygen
The concept: Miami matchmaker sets up "urban professional women." Somewhere, "Millionaire Matchmaker's" Patti Stanger is howling.
Watch it? Only if Stanger has a sabotage cameo.
"Fat Girl Revenge" Oxygen
The concept: Fat girls lose a ton of weight, then seek out every single person who tormented them. We're really hoping the women drive backhoes into their enemies cars or something.
Watch it? Possibly, if only for the name.
"Best Funeral Ever" TLC
The concept: The guy who sang the Chili's "Baby Back Ribs" jingle is buried in a coffin that looks like a meat smoker. That pretty much says it.
Watch it? No. Also, we used to think this restaurant was called "Chiji's" because the logo design is so terrible.