Alex Quigley says Peyton Manning and the Broncos deserve Bears fans'… (Chris Humphreys/USA TODAY )
Our Bears were left on the doorstep of the NFL's playoff party house, forced to watch through the windows as Seattle and Minnesota shuffle to "Party Rock Anthem" and the Packers do keg stands in the corner. I'm here to help you adopt a January team, ranked in order of rootability:
1,036th: Green Bay
I can't really hope for a meteor strike during this wild card game, so I won't. Maybe a little meteor? Adrian Peterson is awesome … but they're the Vikings. Never.
10th: New England
Purely a jealousy ranking. I just can't deal with seeing Tom Brady hoist another Lombardi Trophy.
9th: San Francisco
If you're a former Bears loyalist, you can pull for coach Jim Harbaugh?
North Chicago and NIU love for Michael Turner … and that's about it. A team so generic, their coach is actually named Mike Smith.
The Ravens score rootability points only for having the best name-city's history link in the league. But will they win another Super Bowl? Nevermore.
It's easy to root for a team (and city) that hasn't had much sports love. But they're merely average on the road, and as a No. 5 seed, that's where they'll play and get eliminated.
Exciting individual players on offense and defense! A probable first-round exit due to a gradually crumbling team effort on defense! Pass.
Quietly won seven of their past eight games. Uniforms that actually resemble tiger stripes. My 6-year-old daughter loves ’em.
Watching RG3 is fun. If you have to pick an NFC team and you can get over the whole "racist team name" thing, this dark horse could ride to the Super Bowl.
Their coach GOT CANCER. And they were supposed to win only, like, three games this year.
Peyton Manning's head is attached to his body by rubber bands. Denver's the only team with a great defense AND a great offense. And that's important, because we really need them to beat the Packers in the Super Bowl. GO BRONCOS.
Alex Quigley is a RedEye special contributor.
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