Former Bears coach Mike Ditka was known for being a bit prickly at times. (Ed Wagner/Chicago Tribune )
Here they come to save the day.
And it's a couple of familiar faces to help us out. Bottom feeders Arizona and Detroit. It's simple. The Bears beat them, finish 10-6, they make the playoffs.
You would like that, except you wouldn't.
If that happens, Lovie Smith comes back for another year, and we delay the blowing up of the NFL's oldest and creakiest franchise. You don't want that.
Here's what you want: 8-8. No playoffs. Fans revolt. Phil Emery has to make a move. The McCaskeys have to make a move.
Because around here, it's always been the floor, never the ceiling.Well, time for that creaky floor to collapse, and everyone falls through.
Lovie Smith is a floor coach. He's good, never great. He can beat the Detroits, the Arizonas, the Minnesotas (when they're down), Carolinas, Buffalos, Jacksonvilles and the other wimps of the NFL. But line up against the Giants and the Patriots and the other big boys, and you turn it off early.
Sorry, the next coach needs to be a little ornery. I'm not asking for Ditka, though I kind of am. Enough with the nice guys players love. I want a jerk. I want people to say "I can't believe he said that!" and then a minute later go "He's right!"
Surprise me, shock me and let him have some concept of what a modern NFL offense looks like.
Friends, it hasn't been 1942 for 70 years. Let's grow up! As a city, we can do this!
I say let's end our addiction to defensive players. Starting with Brian Urlacher. Much love, and we'll see you at the induction ceremony. Thanks for all the championships.
Heck, it's already starting! Brandon Marshall speaking out! Hey, Lovie, FYI, it's called a pulse and it involves having blood in your veins. Maybe see a doctor to explain it. I can't.
There's lots of things I can't explain. How the football gods gave Chicago the McCaskeys ranks as one of the all-time karmic rip-off jobs. Then again, we've always gotten the floor, not the ceiling.
The problem is, we're used to it.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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