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Jaden and Will get jiggy in 'After Earth'

And we analyze the trailer!

December 10, 2012|By Dana Moran, @redeyedana | RedEye

 Why hello, M. Night Shyamalan, we meet again. We last met the kooky director in 2010's much-panned "The Last Airbender," and he's back -- this time, with some bigger names. Will and Jaden Smith star in "After Earth," a father-son post-apocalyptic flick set for a June release. The first trailer hit the Webwaves on Monday -- here's our scene-by-scene gut reaction. Hopefully this turns out better than "Lady in the Water."


Opens to heavy breathing. This usually means somebody's about to get eaten. Nope, just Will teaching Jaden how to breathe in a face mask.


Until the hull is blasted off the back of the spaceship and Will goes flying! Aw, crap.


Aaaand we're careening into a planet's atmosphere. Who's driving this thing, anyway? They're doing a terrible job.


Voiceover: "We crash-landed." Me: "No duh."


Voiceover: "Two confirmed survivors." Me: "Confirmed, eh? There's bound to be a meth head around here somewhere."


This apparently is far enough in the future that you can heal yourself using some kind of laser hologram technology. Sweet.


Voiceover: "Everything on this planet has evolved to kill humans." Me: "Probably could've picked a better vacation spot."


Holy crap, flying squirrel suit! Suck on that, evolution.


Wait, wait, wait ... all of a sudden, there's other people and spaceships? Where the hell did these guys come from?


Will: "Do you know where we are?" Jaden: "No, sir." Will: "This is Earth." BOOM. So where are people living now, Tatooine? Guess we'll find out.

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