Bag Boy is thrilled that Northern Illinois is playing in the Orange Bowl.… (Chuck Berman/Chicago Tribune )
It's time to pay some respect to the best football team in Illinois.
We've been desperate for one around here. The Bears—what's left of them—are old and creaky.
That leaves us with the MAC champion, Orange Bowl-bound Northern Illinois Huskies.
Let's have some fun with this gem in the cornfield. Here is some stuff you didn't know.
Their quarterback is Jordan Lynch. Chicago guy, a Mount Carmel grad. I like him. He should win the Heisman. I'm serious. Dude has similar stats to Johnny Manziel of Texas A&M. Jordan, you're a junior. Please stay!
One loss this year, to lowly Iowa. Yes, the Big Ten is that bad. You're not imagining it.
The Huskies beat powerful Army, the one in West Point, 41-40. Not that impressive, however, considering Army actually lost to Stony Brook (the music school?).
So long to coach Dave Doeren, who left Northern Illinois after winning the MAC two seasons in a row for N.C. State. Sorry, Dave, not an upgrade. Just think, though: NIU is becoming the new cradle of coaches, with Jerry Kill at Minnesota and now Doeren gone.
As for notable alumni, believe me when I tell you … there are none. I looked. OK, I came up with maybe two. Joan Allen, Steppenwolf alum, great actress. And Michael "The Burner" Turner, who is currently tearing it up with Atlanta. Also, full disclosure: Bag Boy Sr. went to NIU. And my uncle. But that's it. I had a brother who was born in DeKalb, but he's not an alum.
Oh, and one other thing: They are going to get killed by Florida State in the Orange Bowl. So, enjoy the next month of this.
Speaking of getting killed, we're glad Dale Sveum survived a gunshot wound from Robin Yount on a hunting trip. Dick Cheney was seen fleeing the premises, we're looking into it.
We also should take this opportunity to say goodbye to Philip Humber, quite simply the worst pitcher to ever throw a perfect game. His troubles now belong to the Houston Astros. I hope they're not waiting for the next perfect game.
And neither are we. Please join us next week for regularly scheduled Bears bashing and holiday gift ideas.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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