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Watch these Bears at your own risk

November 15, 2012|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

Get ready for unwatchable.

Bears backup quarterback Jason Campbell (sit this one out, Jay) runs the offense, against a wobbly Alex Smith, also recovering from a concussion.

It's on a Monday night, in San Francisco. You know how well the Bears play in San Francisco. Oh, you don't? Here are some scores for you (all losses): 49-7 (2003), 44-15 (playoffs, 1994), 52-14 (1991), 41-0 (1987).

This is a loss, and it's going to be so unbearable that I am formally requesting of NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell that this game not be televised.

Dear Commissioner:

Please don't show this. The Bears are sometimes unwatchable even with Cutler. Campbell isn't up to it, and it will be worse than the Houston game. As for San Francisco, same thing. They're just going to run it. No one will stay awake for it. Instead, show highlights from both teams' glory decades of the '80s. Thank you.

It looks like a 3-3 tie, 49ers win it 6-3 in OT.

Man, we need some tight ends. Kellen Davis, I had some high hopes for the Spartan, but he can't catch the tough ones over the middle. So Evan Rodriguez should get a shot but he's a little, shall we say, smallish for the position. We may have to draft one! Or sign one!

As for Cutler, I'm afraid we're heading into double digits in the concussion column. That's not good. I don't wish it on anyone, but the guy has to learn to slide.

So J.C. takes over for J.C. and it's time to really pray to the only J.C. who counts. Let's hope it's for a couple of weeks, tops. If not, it's only a repeat of last year.

Anyway, I'd usually switch to the Bulls but right now, they're old and creaky. I'm seeing a lot of "game-time decisions" which means things are pulled, tweaked, knicked, strained and maybe torn. They're old and average. Enjoy.

As for the Blackhawks, they're back and looking good! You just have to go to Europe to see them play. Bon voyage!

I'm feeling concussed.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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