I've got three fives for you in describing the Bears defense.
Five games, five touchdowns given up, five touchdowns scored.
Nice numbers and a good week to rest up with games against Detroit, Carolina and Tennessee coming up.
However, they still look offensively challenged, so I'm suggesting this for the bye week. Use the extra time to install what I call the Bears D Offensive Package. It's simple, really. We take our two best offensive players, Lance Briggs and Charles Tillman, and instead of just playing them on defense, we play them on offense. It makes perfect sense.
Lance Briggs. Man, that is a tight end/fullback if I ever saw one. Based on his interception returns, I'm seeing plenty of passes for him in the flat, and we can also get him vertical. He would get the carries and passes his way that Kellen Davis would get, but admit it: You wouldn't notice (Davis also played D in college. Look it up.).
Charles Tillman. This is a slot receiver who would have no problem adjusting. He seems to know receivers' routes better than receivers, so why not complete the process? Again, he would get the reps Earl Bennett would get, but you don't care. And besides, Alshon Jeffrey is out. We're seriously going to need him!
Go ahead and laugh, but there's a part of your brain considering it. The same part that wants to open a bar with your friends.
We'll start with third-down packages and expand it as the year goes on. Now's the time.
Now's also the time to celebrate, as Steve Stone has said he wants to stay in Chicago for another year and beyond. This is firmly in the "good news" file as Ken Harrelson has devolved into … not even a homer. More like a really excitable relative you hang out with sometimes. I don't know. Unwatchable comes to mind. Thanks, Stone Pony, for the intellectual counterweight.
Now, more good news, Bob Brenly may be leaving the Cubs booth. No problems with that, I find the folksy vanilla approach all wrong for this town. Too nice.
That's not who we are, people.
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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