These just might be your daddy's Bears.
It's very early yet, but I see two things that look good.
The first is that our defensive line is really [bleeping] good. They've got 14 sacks in three games. And they swarm to the ball in waves, and they do it with like … nine guys. They beat you, and they beat you up. Good sign.
Second, they can run the ball. I don't know who Chilo Rachal is. But I heard he's something of a "mauler" and he's our new left guard. Praise the Lord and move him to tackle, please. Also, I had a bag of chilos for lunch. Not bad. Try the jalapeno flavored ones. Really spicy.
Seriously, it's funny how all of the sudden we may not need The Pouty Faced One (that's Jay Cutler or pouty faced Jay or PFJ).
Think about it and pick your weapon. Matt Forte or Michael Bush. Right now I like Bush. That's subject to change 10 times this year.
Mike Tice: Do not attempt to grow a brain here. Heck, you could have run it against Green Bay. You'd better try really, really hard to run it against Dallas on Monday night.
Because one thing is for sure: PFJ will not be in prime form underneath the lights in Big D on a Monday night. Book that.
Anything to keep my mind off the AL Central race. My god, someone end this.
Again with movie metaphors. It's like "Rocky II" when Rocky and Apollo Creed knocked themselves out and someone had to get up first.
The difference between them and the Tigers and White Sox? Those guys were good! These two teams are hideous!
I've never seen two teams want something less. I think they actually call each other up every day and say things like, "Really was hoping to get away in October anyway … please, take it!"
I can't watch, and I'm not the only one. Sox attendance woes continue.
The Cubs, on the other hand continue to pack them in. I think it's actually used as a promo: "Please join us as we march toward 100 losses."
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.