All the pieces are in place, Brian Urlacher is back practicing, and Indy comes to town to kick off the 2012 season. Everybody happy.
Big-time receivers in the house, Matt Forte and Jay Cutler happy … new offensive coaches who aren't offensive, everybody happy.
Great special teams as always, offensive line is OK, everybody happy.
Except I'm not happy. You're telling me a GM comes in from out of nowhere and in a matter of months addresses every major need, almost overnight seems to modernize the franchise?
This can't be. This is Chicago. There's always, always a hitch.
Indy is a win. I say we beat Detroit twice. They're better, but so are we.
We beat Minnesota twice. We split with Green Bay (losing there).
We lose at San Francisco, at Dallas, at Jacksonville, at home vs. Houston.
Wins vs. St. Louis, Titans, Seattle and Arizona.
Add it up, it's a very pedestrian 11-5. Nothing earth shattering. Green Bay looks better than 11-5, though. Nightmare scenario: Cedric Benson finally fulfills his potential against the Bears. Thanks again, Jerry Angelo.
Other bold predictions: Midway through the season, Allen Pinkett will say the Bears need more thugs. Bears fans say "Hey, we had Benson and he blew!"
Fans will be really bored not having a No. 3 QB to say "Let's try him!"
The inventor of "NFL power rankings" used throughout sports websites will be sued for fraud. They mean nothing, people.
In an effort to help J'Marcus Webb, Bears will petition the league to start a 12th man on offense, a tackle/tight end combo player to help with blocking and receiving. Entire league catches on.
The Detroit Lions will use stupidity and thuggery to miss the playoffs. Book it. I don't care how good they are.
Pundits everywhere will be shocked (again!) to discover Phillyjust isn't that good.
After Cam Newton blows by Brian Urlacher in Week 8, Urlacher heard mumbling, "Man, I may actually be 34!"
And after Green Bay beats the Bears in the NFC championship game, Lovie Smith heard mumbling, "Maybe we did need that left tackle after all."
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.
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