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Bears might be giants. Or not

August 23, 2012|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

Time for a nice fat reality check Friday.

Bears at Giants. Yes, we return to the site where Jay Cutler was sacked nine times and got a concussion.

Yes, it's still the preseason. However, it's the nastiest pass rush around.

Someone needs to step up, so naturally, I predict Chris Williams and J'Marcus Webb will step back.

No way the Bears are as good as they look. Injuries are bugging me. Adam Podlesh, the punter, has hurt his leg. No worries, though, it's just his kicking leg. So, that's weird.

Weirder: Brian Urlacher, you had me at "I'm dating Jenny McCarthy" but you lost me with alternative therapy.

Dr. Peter Wehling, from Germany. It's called Regenokine therapy and it uses the body's healing forces. Pope John Paul II used it because "it came from God." Hey, if we're going to get him involved, let's get him to work on some other things wrong with the Bears, like having healthy safeties.

And he can work on the Cubs, too! Good news, six more scouts have been fired (who's left?).

I'm still waiting for that first player to be fired. Still waiting …

By the way, one of those scouts fired was Richie Zisk, one of the "South Side Hit Men" of the 1977 Sox!

Richie: Thank you. You started it all for me and the Sox. Homers, fireworks, old Comiskey Park. Try and get a job with them, that's my advice.

Because, man. Right when Kansas City sweeps them, they come back and sweep the Yankees.

Also, Dewayne Wise. De Aza goes down, D-Wise steps up. The guy who made "The Catch" to preserve Mark Buehrle's perfect game has been "the catch." Glad he's back.

The Sky should be glad, too. Thanks to other sports, no one knows they've lost eight straight.

No one gets off free around here, and I'll even let the fact that the coach's name is Pokey Chatman slide.

No, no I won't. Clean it up, ladies.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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