My cousin Quentin has a friend named Chris he always rolls with when we go out. Chris is short, super-skinny and wears full suits to the club. Yeah, he dresses like he's headed to prom every time.
Chris' gear doesn't give him much play in the club, but start playing Montell Jordan's "This is How We Do It," and it's an absolute wrap! Chris puts on these powder-white gloves and turns into a dancing machine. The running man. The funky chicken. The Macarena. The watusi. The casper slide. You name it. And he doesn't stop. The guy will dance all night, sweating and all.
So while Chris is something of a legend in my circle for his dance-floor exploits, the truth of the matter is most peeps are too cool to dance. It's like after high school and college, you're instantly uncool if you dance.
Why is that? I don't exactly stomp the yard like Chris (not anymore), but I do have enough rhythm to move the crowd. And if you can do that, guess what? You become the life of the party.
Yeah, rhythm is the groove! When I'm in the club, I pretend I'm Usher for two or three songs at a time with no warning. Some people think I'm crazy; others recognize I have the skills to pay the bills. Whatever.
Knowing how to dance is a lost art, but in the souls of the lively bunch at the party who don't care what the opposite sex thinks lies a champion! Well, at least a bronze medalist.
Dancing is a good gig if for no other reason than it makes a great segue. Girl: "Where did you learn moves like that?" Guy: "I toured two summers with Michael Jackson and perfected my moonwalk in Morocco." See what I mean? Chris knows what I'm talking about.
You don't have to be Magic Mike to get in on the action. Start with something simple, like the cooking dance. Think of it as preparing a meal—slicing carrots, stirring a pot, flipping a pancake—without holding actual utensils, pots and pans. And doing it to a beat. This probably is the dance Peter Pan and the Lost Boys did after defeating Captain Hook.
If you want to try something with a little more swag, my friend Sir Michael Rocks of The Cool Kids made up a dance called Bussin Down, a move for people who don't want to break a sweat in the club.
Basically, it's the fist-pump dance but with some cooler twists. Put your game face on, switch up the tempo and don't bring your fists above your eyebrows. Seriously, check out Mikey's tutorial on YouTube.
See, you don't have to know how to break dance to win the crowd. A quick two-step, fist-pump, cooking dance or Bussin Down variation should suffice.
Now can we all stop frowning at one another, put down the smartphones and kick it? This isn't Hollywood—it's Chicago! It's OK to bust a move. Bailamos!
Grant Yanney is a RedEye special contributor. @gy312