Oh no! Ryan Dempster has come down with a bad case of Cubs disease.
For those unfamiliar, it's a rare disease, very painful.
It happens like this. A player becomes a Cub. They fall in love with the city, the fans, the adoration, playing at Wrigley Field, day baseball, nighttime shenanigans, daytime shenanigans, the bars and the clubs, whatever.
So much so, they actually forget there is something out there, spoken about only in distant places like St. Louis and Atlanta, called wins and losses. Yes, in these bizarre outposts, they matter.
Oh, they'll say they wanted to be traded to a contender but when the time comes … tempers flare.
Mark Grace was guilty of this. Derrek Lee vetoed a trade to the Los Angeles Angels!
Now Dempster hesitated on committing to the Braves, a legitimate contender, and they promptly moved on. Good for them. Bad for Ryan. And embarrassing. The message sent: "I'm not that interested in playing for a contender."
Don't give me the "best for me and my family" business. Everyone at the MLB level is compensated for their inconveniences. Everyone. Oh, and the Dodgers? Good luck. They want Matt Garza. Sigh. So we get a blow-up. Nice Carlos Zambrano imitation.
And by the way, nice fire sale by the Florida Marlins. Note to Kenny Williams: See what you can do to get Mark Buehrle back here. Still love him, and the Marlins are sellers!
Note No. 2 to Kenny: When considering whom to trade (and we know you are), don't rule out Gordon Beckham. I'm afraid he is heading south, never to be seen again.
Also on the table should be: John Danks, Gavin Floyd and Philip Humber (please, I can't take it!). And maybe Dylan Axelrod, though I like this kid. Kenny, we need another starter. The bullpen is fine now. Like I said, Buehrle!
Note to Ozzie Guillen: You're an idiot for falling for that Florida gig. Congrats, you're now in rebuilding mode … forever!
Just like the Bulls are! Hey, we got Kirk Hinrich (again? ugh) and Marco Belinelli (a race car driver?).
Here's to permanent rebuilding!
Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.