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Bag Boy: The Bears are making me nervous

Worries increase as pieces fall into place

July 19, 2012|By Bag Boy

I do apologize, but I am about to say the six most frightening words ever muttered in Chicago:

All the pieces are in place.

Please stop screaming.

First said in 1996 by then-coach Dave Wannstedt, it—of course—meant the Bears were finally set to make a Super Bowl run. It was a disaster. The QB broke his neck, Bryan Cox was worthless and our kicker was Carlos Huerta. After years of therapy, I have never really recovered from the Wannstedt years. We’re talking permanent damage.

But back to the present. Now that Matt Forte is signed, we’re ready. Stud QB? Check. Bona fide no. 1 wide receiver? Check. Knucklehead offensive coach gone? Check. Defense in place? Check.

So, of course, I know, deep down in my stomach where the beef jerky lies, that something is going to blow this thing up.

My guess? That one little item we forgot to address, the Achilles heel. That one little thing. Oh, what’s its name? Oh yeah, the offensive line.

Left Tackle. Mark my words. Chris Williams takes over for J’Marcus Webb. Chris Williams. Interesting. A Jerry Angelo pick, so you know it’s bound to fail. Other than that, of course, we have Gabe Carimi coming back from a knee injury (always dicey) and a bunch of untested guys, except for Roberto Garza.

So let’s enjoy these few weeks before training camp starts and something goes wrong. Because right now, it’s all on paper.

Oh, and one other thing. Shea McClellan better be all that, because the defense needs him.

Technically, it’s still baseball season. This week, we welcomed Ozzie Guillen and Carlos Zambrano back to Chicago. Gentleman, know this: Never have two people been missed less. Mark Buehrle? Him, I miss.

I won’t miss him as much if the Sox land Zack Greinke. Sorry, the chip is planted, I can’t get him out. Ship the Brewers Gavin Floyd and one of our other 200 pitchers we’ve used this year. I forget their names.

I won’t forget Ryan Dempster, though, and a trade is imminent. I have to say, he’s one of the classiest Cubs ever. I’ll miss him like I miss Mark Buehrle.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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