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Theo has your back, Cubs fans

July 11, 2012|By Matt Lindner | For RedEye

It always gets darkest before the dawn, or so the cliché goes, and it's all Cubs fans have at this point.

If this Cubs season were a prime-time sitcom, it would be NBC's "Whitney," a grating, joyless exercise in entertainment that improbably manages to draw a respectable audience week in and week out.

Before winning seven of 10 games recently, this team was on pace to lose more than 100 games as the ghosts of the past continue to haunt the dreams of the present. Bad decisions have been to Wrigleyville what awestruck tourists are to Michigan Avenue, wherein it's nearly impossible to take five steps in any direction without bumping into one stumbling lost out of a building and into the night.

This extends from the front office making the decisions that count to the frat bros in the bleachers making decisions that don't.

And yet there's hope for both. Because Theo Nathan Epstein is captaining this seemingly rudderless ship, an idealized, self-actualized version of the person we all aspire to be as an adult if there ever was one. And if you find yourself in a dilemma in Wrigleyville anytime soon, look to your non-bracelet-clad wrist and ask yourself "W.W.T.E.D.?"

Epstein wouldn't re-sign Carlos Pena to keep first base warm for whatever hot prospect he could pilfer from another team. He wouldn't hold onto the dying dream that was once Andrew Cashner's seemingly limitless potential any more than he'd give DJ LeMahieu the time of day, let alone the starting second baseman gig.

You know what else he'd do? He'd talk your bachelorette party out of doing that 13th round of shots even though you didn't feel the first 12 because you're not 21 anymore and actions have consequences. He'd also gently remind you that you're 100 pounds lighter and 200 percent less crazy than that hulking bouncer in the corner.

And if Epstein were a Cubs fan and not the team's president, he'd tell you to give the new regime time. It's gonna get better, he'd assure you, because it sure as hell can't get any worse.

Matt Lindner is a RedEye special contributor.

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