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Thanks for nothing, White Sox

June 21, 2012|By Bag Boy | For RedEye

I'd like to thank the White Sox.

You almost did it. You almost kept me occupied until Bears preseason in late July and August. You fell short by about a month or so … but hey, really nice effort, guys.

Sorry, but losing two of three to the Cubs will not cut it. In a few years, when the Cubs are built, then you can lose two of three to them. Not here. Not now.

Is there someone in Chicago, Charlotte, Birmingham, Winston-Salem, Kannapolis or Great Falls who can play third base? Yes, yes there is. Dan Johnson, Charlotte Knights. Make the call. Or you know what? Between innings, when Adam Dunn isn't doing anything, teach it to him!

It actually doesn't matter because I'm seeing the words "Danks" and "tear" and "rehab assignment in three weeks" and silly things like that. Season. Over.

Maybe we call down to Miami and offer John Danks and Orlando Hudson to Miami for good ol' 200-innings-a-year-pitcher Mark Buehrle. Yeah, Ozzie Guillen would do that for us, right?

Could be another White Flag trade, but I'm calling it the yellow flag because of injuries.

I guess we'll be saying goodbye to Jake Peavy. Too bad. I've really enjoyed these past two months even though we've had him for three years!

Also, if someone takes Peavy, they have to take Gavin Floyd. It's my own rule.

Gotta be fair, though. Congrats to the Cubs for toughing out a couple of wins. Here was my favorite Web poll this week: "Why is attendance down in the city series?"

Because both teams stink! The Sox play in a mediocre division, so it's interesting, but the Cubs are unwatchable. And Wrigley Field looked like it had two warning tracks during the weekend series with Boston. The ugly confines!

So the Anthony Rizzo/Bryan LaHair era is almost here, and we need a taker for Alfonso Soriano.

I wonder if he plays third …

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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