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Chicago sports tantrums are natural

May 10, 2012|By Bag Boy, For RedEye

That took long enough. I've been throwing stuff for years.

Hats off to Kerry Wood who did something rash, disgusting, inexplicable and inexcusable. He had an honest expression of emotion and (gasp!) threw his cap and glove into the crowd the other night.

Bravo. I hate watching the Cubs. Sad, but true. They are a constant reminder that all the money in the world can't solve deep-rooted problems in culture and philosophy. Heck, St. Louis lost Albert Pujols, Tony LaRussa and Dave Duncan and they're humming along. They're probably going back to the World Series. Not us though. It's century No. 2 of rebuilding and starting over.

Local Alderman Tom Tunney: Wrigley Field is not Fenway Park (he's referring to the neighborhood and renovation plans). I'm not referring to anything and I'm saying: He's right!

Carlos Marmol is a joke. It's called a fastball, and if you don't have one, there are plenty of mindless jobs in the private sector for you. I'd complain about the lack of hitting in the lineup, but I still don't care enough to learn their names.

Look, this is going to be a brutal summer for baseball in Chicago, so let's prepare ourselves and lay down some rules.

>> No throwing of objects with sentimental value such as pictures, plaques or nice China.

>> Everything else: In play.

Same goes for the White Sox. I love 'em because the rotation has a chance to be phenomenal. I hate them because Brent Morel is killing us. They also don't really have a closer, and Chris Sale has a bad elbow.

From now on, new plan: draft a player and then immediately schedule Tommy John surgery, since it comes to that anyway. No need to delay.

Seriously—it's a .500 team.

Seriously--.500 might win the division. I have to watch.

Torture. Thanks Blackhawks for making cosmetic changes and firing the assistant coach—Mike Haviland. If Joel Quenneville is next, I won't care. Unless changes are made with some key players, it won't matter.

As for the Bulls, good riddance. As one can see, I have enough torture on my plate.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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