Justin Bieber is not above taking cheap shots -- although, in his case, we suppose they're probably really, really expensive shots. The 18-year-old told the BBC that "that girl -- Mariah Yeater -- who said she was going to have my baby" was among the inspirations for songs on his upcoming album, "Believe." Other topics include his mom and ... "lots of different stories and experiences." Since we just can't wait until June 19 for these tracks to drop, we made up some songs and we'll let you fill in the blanks, madlibs-style.
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"Who's That Girl? (Not My Babymama)"
For Mariah Yeater
"Girl, who you (playground activity) with? It ain't you I'm (date activity) with. Now (dance move) before I (cellphone activity) your (adjective) (body part)."
"When you I was (location) you (verbed) my eye. But it don't mean I'm a (casino activity) kind of guy. So don't (car activity) with Selena, 'cause she ain't (princess adjective)."
"You My First Boo"
For my mama
"Hey mama, I know you always gon' (obsessive verb) me. Even tho my (My Little Pony name) and I gettin' (old West adjective). Wait, (`Hokey Pokey' verb) your ears, ma!"
"Ma, get outta mah (private space)! You already (brain activity) enough 'bout me and mah (type of fuzzy animal)! I'mma hafta (prison guard activity) your (type of vehicle)."
"Damn, (sci-fi noun), that's all I gotta say. When I first (birdwatching verb) you, my (car part) (car verbed). And Usher was like (expletive)!"
"When we (sailing activity) `Titanic,' da boat wasn't all that (roller derby verb). The lights (weather verb), and my lifeboat was like (car explosion noise)."
"Da King of All"
For Twitter pranks
"Whattup, (baby animals)? This yo (royal title), JB. I ain't no (type of fool), yo (body parts) got TWITPUNK'D."
"Daz right! Taylor Swift! Yo (instrument) ain't (state of disrepair)! I'm jus' tweetin', (distant relative)! Drake! Yo (piece of furniture) ain't in (remote location)! I'm jus' tweetin', (type of fish)! Ooops, dat one's true."