Yee haw! The Country Music Television Awards nominees were announced Monday -- not to be confused with the ACM awards, or the CMA awards, or any of the other zillion country music awards. The varmints up for trophies are the usual suspects (sorry, we're stopping now), but who's the MOST truly country of these bumpkins? We analyzed the songs of some top nominees to determine who's really ready to rope a calf, from most country to totally citified.
@redeyedana VIDEO Blake Shelton (3 nominations)
"Well, I love Turkey calls, overalls, Wrangler jeans/Smoke nothin' but Marlboro Reds/Tattoos up and down my arms/And deer heads over my bed." -- "Kiss My Country Ass"
If this is really how Blake decorates, we're pretty sure wife Miranda Lambert will have something to say about it.
VIDEO Miranda Lambert (4 nominations)
"Time to get a gun/That's what I've been thinking/I could afford one/If I did just a little less drinking." -- "Time To Get A Gun"
You probably also would be a little less likely to accidentally shoot your neighbor's dog while protecting your home if you did a little less drinking, but that's neither here nor there.
VIDEO Rascal Flatts (3 nominations)
"It's widely known that I have my flaws/While she's the Joan of Arkansas/Her lips won't touch the demon wine/But her eyes are full of pure moonshine." -- "Dry Country Girl"
Hmmm ... this chick sounds a bit low-key for a country cutie, but we really just can't resist the phrase "demon wine." Do they sell that at the grocery store?
VIDEO Carrie Underwood (5 nominations)
"Where the Wildcats beat the Ironheads/Old Settler's day and the Okrafest/After prom, down at the bowling lanes/ Catching crappie fish in Eufaula Lake." -- "I Ain't in Checotah Anymore"
Okrafest sounds like a wild time, but this also is coming from a girl who does Sketchers ads now. Rodeo cred diminished.
VIDEO Lady Antebellum (3 nominations)
"It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now/Said I wouldn't call but I've lost all control and I need you now." -- "Need You Now"
This sentiment does not apply only in Texas, but also in Oklahoma and other states with a part that sticks out at a weird angle.
VIDEO Taylor Swift (3 nominations)
"She wears high heels/I wear sneakers. She's cheer captain/And I'm on the bleachers." -- "You Belong With Me"
We see no cowboy boots in this scenario. No points, Taylor! Now if that Joni Mitchell biopic works out ...