Next week, the finale of "RuPaul's Drag Race" airs.
Squirrelfriends, I am almost -- almost -- tired of seeing Michelle Visage's boobs.
This week, I'm recapping a recap as the best show on TV gives us an hour worth of flashbacks and unaired footage.
I maintain that this episode is still better than 99 percent of the reality shows out there.
In the intro we get Michelle Visage's RuPaul impression, but it is definitely milking time, if you know what I mean.
I think you do.
Next up are the audition tapes of all the shady ladies, including the one from Phi Phi O'Hara (Chicago!) that showcases her intense desire for peace and harmony.
"We all should be sisters and we all should be friends," Phi Phi says.
Not a touch of irony, I tell you.
The production values in Miss Kenya Michaels' audition tape were intense. It's in the forest!
Next, the race offers videos of the queens being told they'd been accepted to be on the show.
As Sharon cries with happiness, I wonder, is it possible for me to love her any more? It is not.
We also get a taste of the drag vocabulary highlighted on the show, including:
No shade, no T. Fish, read for filth, eat it, etc...
Speaking of shade, there are plenty of recaps of those, some of which re-hash old fights and some of which prove that the producers could not fit all of Phi Phi's nastiness into 11 episodes.
We also get the genesis of the "Jesus is a biscuit" references and some backstory showing a few of the girls appear to have never eated biscuits or sopped anything up with them.
"Y'all are so white and Anglo-Saxon," Latrice Royale says ruefully.
And then, apropos of nada, the contestants discuss which president they think is hottest.
Chad Michaels: Barack Obama (Ever the diplomat, Chad is)
Latrice: Bill Clinton (he probably loves biscuits)
Sharon: Abraham Lincoln (of course)
Phi Phi: George Washington (purely on the strength of adding his wigs to her collection)
The dragtestants also discuss what Willam calls "wig wars," when the queens purposefully rip their wigs from their heads while they're lip syncing.
Latrice doesn't understand it and neither do I. This is not RuPaul's Best De-Wigging Race, after all.
In any case, we're also treated to a queen-by-queen recap of the season so far, reminding us of the dearly and the not-so-dearly departed. There are also plenty of judging panel outtakes, which are sometimes funny and sometimes boring.
They got an hour to fill here, people.
In that service, Shannel, Mariah and Pandora Boxx weigh in on the season's fashion highs. As usual, Ru's many looks come in first.
Before we're sent to sashay away for the week, we get one last rundown of the top three finalists: Chad, Sharon and Phi Phi.
I'll be crossing my fingers and praying for Needles next week. How about you?