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Coupled up in a singles world


  • It's rooftop bar mingling season.
It's rooftop bar mingling season. (RedEye file photo )
April 11, 2012|By Ana Fernatt, For RedEye

Spring is here and we're all just trying to get sprung. Deer are growing horns, nuts abound for the squirrels, and bunnies are doing what they do best. Just the other day, a man had his friend stop a moving car so that he could get out and run down the block after me. When he caught up to me, he was out of breath and wanted to tell me that I looked cute. That, my friends, is hustle. Singles season has officially arrived.

Typically, I'm one to abide by the very clear-cut Chicago dating seasons: Go wild in spring, pick a few faves in summer, lock one down by fall, hibernate in a den made for two through the winter, repeat. This year, my clock's a little thrown off. I'm not sure if it was the mild, amazing winter that made me act so early, but I entered a plus-one earlier this year ... and I intend to keep it that way. What can I say? It's always summer when you're in l-o-v-e.

My girls are a totally different story. While they hung close to the laws of physique, holing up with a warm winter body, I was single as a jaybird. Now, the appropriate climate for antics has arrived and off they are: wearing adorable outfits, dining al fresco on patios and drinking on rooftops. Sure, I'm there too in a breezy dress with my tapas holding a flute of Veuve, but there's something different. While they are locking eyes and aligning targets, what is the happily coupled coquette to do?

I've been out with my friends, talking with a group of people and casually dropped the B-bomb: "Oh, my BOYFRIEND (POW! POW! *screaming children*) likes that too." The nice, new man friend, who moments before was suuuuuper interested in knowing all the names of my Beanie Babies in alphabetical order—by birthdate—will make a face like I've just kicked him in the junk and wants to vomit all over my Facebook status. Right before he stops talking to me entirely. Off the market, off the list of people he'd care to talk to—even when bored.

It's not like entering a relationship makes you suddenly unable to interact with other people. I'd argue that you should be someone's exclusive only if you make each other upgraded versions of your solo dolo self. Coupled you should be even more awesome than single you. The difficult part is that the motivation is way different. While all the single boys and girls are sniffing each other up and down, I've already caught my fox and the hunt makes me tired.

The fact is finding that fulfilling, satisfying and mutually inspiring relationship is every singleton's endgame. Maybe it's not the current maneuver, but it's the overarching strategy.

To my fellow duos I say, "Own that [bleep]." Every time I have a tinge of jealousy over the excitement and variety of my single friends' dating life, I remind myself to invest in my solid twosome. That is soooo much harder to find. The grass might be greener on the other side, but a content couple is standing on top of a gold and diamond mine.


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