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The realistic Chicago baseball preview

April 05, 2012|By Bag Boy, For RedEye

Sadly, it's here. The 2012 Major League Baseball season preview, Chicago edition.

Look, no sugarcoating here, so let's break it down. This is going to be awful on many levels. Bad up north, bad down south.

Cubs first. I'm inclined to go easy on these guys for attempting the impossible. Yes, they are overhauling the entire franchise, gutting it from top to bottom, flushing out all of the bad attitudes, karma and talent that doesn't belong.

People, this is a monumental job. It's the athletic equivalent of overhauling the U.S. Tax Code, and just as painful. So, when something goes wrong this year—and they will—I will nod and say "It's a process."

In other words, wake me in five years because I'm seeing no one, and by that I mean not a soul on this team that excites me. Starlin Castro—too flighty. Alfonso Soriano—I was tired of him four years ago! Plus, he's like 45! David DeJesus—sorry, the last Cub named DeJesus was Ivan and we traded him for Ryne Sandberg. For a reason.

Pitchers. My god. Ryan Dempster. Good guy. A No. 1 starter? Not over the long haul. Matt Garza, yeah, I like him, but I'm not seeing any difference-makers here.

Here's the best bet: Good scouting, coaching, drafting and developing take hold—in four years. Like I said, wake me when it's over.

A similar colonoscopy is taking place with the Sox. Ay, yay yay.

Robin Ventura. I always liked him. How he got this job, I have no idea. And why would he want it? This is the biggest collection of "maybe, remember when, he used to, I wonder if, that one time, he possibly could be, if this goes right, three years ago he did …" In other words, "God I hope so!"

Man, oh, man. I think we're going to need four years with this one as well. Alex Rios: Please come back. Gordon Beckham: Same. Adam Dunn: Ditto. Dayan Viciedo: We're still waiting. Alexei Ramirez: The season actually starts in April. Hey, Paulie: Thank you, thank you for staying and offering sanity and class.

We'll need plenty of both.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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