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'RuPaul's Drag Race,' episode 10: Dads I'd Like to Frock

April 03, 2012|By Georgia Garvey

Squirrelfriends, I am sad.

We're getting down to the wire, approaching the time when I will be upset no matter who goes home. Don't take my Sharon Needles! Don't take my Latrice Royale! Don't steal my Chad Michaels!

Thankfully, RuPaul has anticipated my consternation this week, returning a previously-eliminated contestant for me to wish ill upon.

"Bringing anyone back isn't fair, in my opinion," Sharon says of the twist.

The remaining queens protest by making "Top 4, add no mo'" signs and wearing them.

"Nice try, Norma Rae," Ru responds.

Once I see the returning queen is Kenya Michaels, I want to join the newly formed Union of United Drag Queens.

"I'm ready to compete," says Kenya's mouth, but her look says she is already defeated.

For the mini-challenge, the queens have to change stuffed teddy bears into theodora bears through the magic of drag.

Chad Michaels makes a bear that is the splitting image of Jiggly Caliente on the runway.

"May I call you Jiggly?" RuPaul asks Chad's theodora bear.

But it's Kenya who takes the crown.

For the main challenge, the contestants have to transform tattooed, burly dudes into DILFs, or Dads I'd Like to Frock.

Kenya sabotages Sharon by giving her the "brickest face in the bunch," a guy whose jaw could cut glass. For herself, she keeps a dad with a more malleable look.

"My guy is the most beautiful woman. Because he's gonna look like Jessica Wild or something," Kenya says.

But wait! That! Is! Not! All!

The DILFs -- and their partners -- must be pregnant in the challenge. Goo goo ga ga, the girls do not like maternity wear, I guess.

As they prepare their strip tease presentation, Sharon's daddy makes a few comments about his weiner. The irony of Sharon calling someone else "weird," in a bad way, is lost on her.

Kenya's dad, on the other hand, wonders if heels are supposed to hurt your toes.

"Yeah, all the time," Kenya answers.

Yes, sir. Learn it. Heels are The Curse.

As the queens rehearse their numbers, we're treated to this magical exchange between Chad and her DILF:

"You've never stripped before, I'm sure," Chad says.

"No," he admits.

"But you've been to a strip joint?"


"Lap dance?"

"Oh, yeah."





"All of it. All right."

Back in the workroom, Sharon's DILF starts to lose his mind and thinks being a "diva" equates to starting a fistfight over nothing.

"I'm working with a DILK, a Dad I'd Like to Kill," Sharon says, and, after the DILK calls Chad a "bitch," I start to agree.

Phi Phi has a more friendly relationship with her DILF, and we get some backstory about Phi Phi's rough relationship with her actual dad. It's a real, soulful conversation and heartening to hear.

Meanwhile, Kenya's DILF is undergoing Adventures in Tucking. He references "Silence of the Lambs." It does not go well.

On the mainstage, a radiantly red Ru joins Jesse Tyler Ferguson and Jennifer Love Hewitt on the judging panel. Michelle Visage must have been intimidated by Jennifer's appearance, because La Visage brings the tatas.

But boobaliciousness or no, the show must go on.

The strip teases are uniformly tragic so we will skip over them entirely.

As far as the maternity runway goes, some of the DILFs make better men than others. Latrice's DILF is actually pretty! Shockingly. Either that or Latrice's makeup skills border on the wizard-like. Chad and her DILF are super-cute, too.

"We're serving Carnivale pregnancy realness," Chad says.

Phi Phi (Chicago!) also did a great job making over her DILF, turning them both into cute, matchy sisters. Her DILF is good-looking as a lady, which I would never have anticipated, and Phi Phi has never looked younger.


Phi Phi, in fact, did so well she wins the challenge. Her DILF cheers like a real dad and we all cheer, too.

In the bottom two are Latrice and Kenya, who does some kind of weird ballet audition for "So You Think You Can Dance" in the lip-sync-for-your-life.

Aretha -- I mean, Latrice -- gives a more emotional interpretation of "Natural Woman," which I and Ru both appreciate. She gets to stay and Kenya is sent home for the second time, proving that man cannot live on fish alone.

Join us next week when the girlies go canine!


Here are some of the episode's best quotes:

"Yeeeees. I'm win!" -- Kenya Michaels

"Your charisma, uniqueness, nerve and talent got you into this situation." -- Ru, about the pregnancy twist.

"You didn't tell me I was in the movie 'Anaconda.'" -- Sharon's DILF

"Walk in the fucking heels and shut up." -- Kenya

"The only problem with this outfit is that I think I'm having a baby elephant. You wanna see his trunk?" -- Sharon's DILF

"I want to kill him because I have created the most simplest, cheapest routine that Helen Keller could do on the first try." -- Sharon

"It's like dancing with Leslie Nielsen in 'Airplane.' That's what I thought he looked like." -- Sharon

"I'm not seeing the family resemblance. It's sort of more like you're just two friends in a Tyler Perry movie." -- Jesse Tyler Ferguson

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