Tom Skilling, our regional god of weather, says we'll have a record high temperature this Saturday—78 degrees on St. Patrick's Day in Chicago. Uh-oh.
Of this I am certain: The best words that'll describe the scene within 50 yards of a bar rhyme with "Schmidt" and "show." Inbound CTA and Metra trains will be jam-packed with DePaul undergrads and 39-year-olds from Elgin sharing a common goal: getting absolutely wasted in the name of the Emerald Isle's patron saint. Or the patron saint of Patron. The streets will look like a DVD-extra scene of "The Walking Dead," with 95 percent less biting and 25 percent more staggering.
Most will be clad in green. Some will have shamrocks on their boobs. Others, their butts. Scan carefully through the horde, brave reader, and you'll find a special breed: the Irish-themed sports jersey-wearer. These men and women deserve recognition--nay, our respect.
Let's think about Green Jersey Fan's commitment to their team: even if it's a shirtsey, GJF plunked down $20 to $25 on an article of clothing they can wear twice a year--tops. (Looking at you South Siders. Halfway to St. Patrick's Day, baby!) If it's an authentic jersey, GJF just spent upward of 200 bucks. That's like budgeting $60,000 a year on clothing, if extrapolating that rate made any sense at all. Hard-core.
Do you love the Blackhawks that much? Are you willing to take your green Lance Briggs jersey into spilled beer and Jameson puke territory? HE DROPPED THREE BILLS ON THAT GREEN STARLIN CASTRO, SON. He is a better fan than you and I--and certainly isn't insane.
Derrick Rose is wearing a green version of his adidas kicks along with a green No. 1 jersey for Saturday's game against the Sixers. Sure, he's getting paid a quarter-billion dollars to do it, but if it's good enough for the MVP, it's good enough for us.
I especially look forward to this summer, when GJF spends $1,249 on an authentic Paul Konerko "Grand Finale" jersey. To celebrate the Fourth of July, 48 high-altitude shells are woven into the seams.
Erin go bleargh.
Alex Quigley is a RedEye special contributor.