In a truly seminal moment in pop culture history, slightly famous Canadian Justin Bieber will turn 18 on Thursday. Bieb's fans have big plans for his birthday -- CBS reports they'll try to break a Guinness World Record for most social media messages in 24 hours. While we're sure they'll succeed, we're pretty sure Bieber probably has more exciting plans for his big day. Check out our (totally fictional) peek at da Bieb's diary.
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Clock radio goes off. Hellooo, wakin' up in mah birthday suit! Now, where's Selena? Time for something else birthday-themed ...
Pancakes, you perv! Gahd, what kind of public image do you think I have? Anyway, this funfetti is DA BOMB. Thanks Mom!
Out the door to tape Ryan Seacrest's show. I like the dude ... maybe it's because he's shorter than I am. Not that he'd ever admit it. Anyway, I walked out the door and BAM! Maybach in the drivewayyyyy! Gracias, Usher!
Man, that Seacrest really gets me to open up. I never should've told him on-air about my big marriage proposal plans, but I just get so excited every time I think about getting down on one knee in a swan boat. I'm not getting any younger here, peeps.
Soooo full from lunch. Did you know the Benihana chefs will actually let you do the cooking if you tell them it's your birthday? Imma total pro with the fried rice, but that shrimp tail flipping trick is ROUGH.
Wakin' up from my napperoo, and mah phone is BLOWING. UP. Looks like homies in the fan club have already got that Guinness record in the bag -- we just passed 209,772, y'all! Grand prize for the 209,773rd fan=backstage passes to mah next show. I promise Selena will keep the glaring in check.
HOW AM I HUNGRY ALREADY? Must be that growth spurt coming on at last. We're gonna keep it simple on this one -- it's taco truck time. 'Cept for this taco truck is actually a TACO HELICOPTER. Al pastor at 3,000 feet, y'all!
Two words: Karaoke. Party. If you think I get tired of singing, you'd be so wrong. The DJ lined up my favorite jam: Lionel Richie's "Hello." It's a classic, and the ladies just can't get enough of it.
Whaaaaaaat! Mah girl rented two WHITE TIGERS to patrol the stage while I rock out. I kinda feel bad for them though. Maybe we'll let them loose in the wilds of Long Beach after the partay.
Another great b-day down the tubes. Thanks friends, fans and that chick who's been living in my pool house and spying on me for the past four months. Let's roll on down the road to 19, where we'll be poppin' bottles of Canadian champagne in the Great White North. But no boozin' till then ... homie's gotta keep it real.