Good news, Bears fans, this weekend's NFC championship game won't end with Jay Cutler limping, er, standing around on the sidelines with a sour look on his face. He'll be doing that at home.
Just kidding, Jay. Tell Kristin Cavallari I said hi. Such a cutie.
Where was I? Oh, yes, the Bears-less NFL playoffs.
This weekend, the Super Bowl matchup will be set. Two teams will earn a chance at NFL immortality—and maybe even score with Madonna. I'm sorry, that's just wrong. Replace "maybe" with "absolutely."
Which two teams will reach their season-long goal Sunday? I'll tell you—and also invite you to challenge my predictions. Details below.
Without further ado, here now, my picks.
New England vs. Baltimore, 2 p.m. Sunday, CBS
If you watched Tom Brady and the Patriots crucify Tim Tebow and the Denver Broncos last weekend, you know exactly where I'm going with this. The Joe Flacco-led Ravens have little to no chance to cut the Patriots out of the playoffs at Gillette Stadium. I can't believe I got through that without a cheap, pot-related joke about Ravens running back Ricky Williams.
WHIZZER'S PREDICTION: Patriots 38, Ravens 20
San Francisco vs. N.Y. Giants, 5:30 p.m. Sunday, Fox
The Giants are riding a four-game winning streak, quarterback Eli Manning is playing better than his brother Peyton has for several seasons and New York's trio of stud receivers—all of whom would be No. 1 on the Bears squad—are clicking on all cylinders. Even San Fran's vaunted D will have trouble slowing down the G Men. Vernon Davis will be crying again this Sunday, all right.
WHIZZER'S PREDICTION: Giants 30, 49ers 17
THE WHIZZER CHALLENGE
Can you beat Whizzer's picks? He doesn't think so, but give it a shot. Include your name so Whizzer can give you shoutout.