Jay-Z and Beyonce (Getty Images file )
Rumors are swirling that Beyonce and Jay-Z spent $1.3 million on a private hospital suite where she gave birth to her baby girl Saturday.
A spokesman for Lenox Hill Hospital in New York City flatly denied the rumor in a statement to thr.com. He also insisted that complaints from other parents in the hospital that they were denied access to their children in the NICU because of added security are without merit.
But let's just say, for the sake of argument, that these reports are true.
It's understandable that this power couple would want to ensure their privacy, but $1.3 million? My stomach hurts between alternating through fits of laughter at the ridiculousness of it all and cringing when thinking about what that money could possibly do for starving children in Africa, families hit by the economy and my laser hair removal fund. Priorities, people.
With the Carter camp (Carter is the last name of this dynamic duo) claiming these reports are baseless, the only thing we can be sure of is they named their daughter Blue Ivy. Give me a minute; my stomach hurts again.
Here's the real million-dollar question: Did Beyonce and Jay-Z receive preferential treatment? Of course they did—and I'm not referring just to these rumors and denials. We are a culture of celebrity enablers.
I once worked at a restaurant Hugh Hefner frequented. Being that Hugh is a fellow U. of I. grad, I've always tried to push the whole "dirty old man" thing under the rug and just view him as a cuddly little elderly guy from Chicago. That sentence had nothing to do with my point.
Anyway, his security team used to bring in their own lamb chops and vegetables with specific instructions for how the chef should prepare them for Hef. Only a celebrity could get away with walking into a restaurant with his own food and demand it be cooked to his liking.
Celebrities receive special treatment—they just do.
Come on. If you were a nurse at that New York hospital and Mrs. Carter requested a glass of ice, do you think you'd casually saunter to the ice machine, making a little pit stop at reception to gab with Donna about how the vending machine on the fourth floor never works? Or do you think you'd run your bootylicious behind off to make sure those ice cubes arrived back with little flecks of gold?
Celebrities are so special, as a matter of fact, they give their children special names without fearing they'll be picked on. Seeing as Beyonce is good friends with Gwyneth Paltrow, I wonder if her little cherub will hang out with Paltrow's daughter, Apple. Blue and Apple. Hanging out. Like the latest flavor of Starburst or one suicidal piece of produce.
So whether or not $1.3 million was spent on a private baby wing, one thing is for sure: Blue Ivy Carter is one lucky baby if for no other reason than she has seemingly loving parents and will probably have her debut album out at 6 months.
Watch out for Lady GooGoo. Now go fetch her a glass of ice.
KATIE KILLACKY IS A REDEYE SPECIAL CONTRIBUTOR.