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Crazy eyes--Is Charlie Sheen's sanity back?

January 09, 2012|By Dana Moran | RedEye

This time last year, Charlie Sheen was headed to rehab after being hospitalized in the midst of what we'll call a "non-winning spree." Now he's prepping to start shooting his new FX series, "Anger Management," (irony, anyone?) and told reporters during a news conference Sunday, "I'm not crazy anymore." Forgive our skepticism, Charlie, but we'd like you to take this quiz to determine your wacky level before we let you out of the pop culture nuthouse.

damoran@tribune.com  |  @redeyedana

1 -- A group of three women ring your doorbell. You:

A -- Ask what kind of cookies they're selling.

B -- Ask what kind of underwear they're wearing.

C -- Offer to buy them an Italian villa in exchange for their services as your sex toys.


2 -- What's the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word "coke"?

A -- Delightful fizzy soda

B -- White powder

C -- I AM THE TIGER BLOOD WARLOCK


3 -- How many children do you have?

A -- Five

B -- Four

C -- Wait ... who have you been talking to?


4 -- Ashton Kutcher has taken over your old job. What is your reaction?

A --  "Hey, man, make it colorful!"

B -- "[He] is a sweetheart and a brilliant comedic performer. Oh wait, so am I!!"

C -- "The beast is alive. And awake. And deadly."


5 -- Which of your roles best expresses your personality?

A -- Bud Fox in "Wall Street"

B -- Ricky "Wild Thing" Vaughn in "Major League"

C -- The dude from the police station in "Ferris Bueller's Day Off"


6 -- You gained a lot of honors in 2011. Of which are you most proud?

A -- Setting a Guinness World Record for the fastest time to reach 1 million Twitter followers

B -- Setting a Comedy Central roast record, with 6.43 million people tuning in

C -- Setting a Ticketmaster record by selling out "My Violent Torpedo Of Truth/Defeat Is Not An Option" tour in 18 minutes


7 -- You're making a fresh start in 2012. What are your New Year's resolutions?

A -- Repair my relationship with my children and stop embarrassing them.

B -- Narrow my list of enemies to five. Sorry, Chuck Lorre, you're not going anywhere.

C -- Get my machete professionally sharpened.


If you answered mostly A's ...

Congratulations! You're officially escaped from crazy town! Enjoy -- we'd like to say you've earned it, but that might be pushing things.

If you answered mostly B's ...

You're not quite there yet, but you've at least realized that tigers are endangered and you really shouldn't be drinking their blood.

If you answered mostly C's ...

We hear Antarctica is really nice this time of year. Look, white stuff!

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