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The 25-year-old's guide to life, a response

December 12, 2011|RedEye

The website of Relevant magazine, which covers faith, culture and living, recently posted this list: 11 Things to Know at 25(ish). RedEye staffers weighed in with their own advice.

Emily Van Zandt, RedEye night life producer, 25

1. "Likes" are essential: Forget opposites attract. If all your boyfriend does with his evenings is play Halo and you hate video games, chances are it's not going to work. Love dance music? '80s movies? Art museums? Sushi? Whatever it is, your significant other better be gladly willing to accept it. We're too old to start changing our tastes now.

2. Free laundry is everything. I don't care if the bedroom is small and it has window air conditioning units, by 25 you know full well how much money you could be saving by not picking up that roll of quarters once a week.

3. Floss. And while you're at it, stash a toothbrush at work and don't skimp on the Listerine. Because you know what you can't afford? The dentist. Let's all admit it: Once the parent's insurance goes dental visits suddenly become very...optional.

4. BYOB. Remember those 25-cent draw nights at college bars? $2 shots? All-you-can-eat $3 pizza? Yeah, those don't happen in the real world. And even if they did, your metabolism checked-out two years ago. Grabbing a couple $7 bottles of wine and eating sushi at 11 p.m.? Way more adult.

5. Take the time to defriend. Unless you happened to move home, social media has become the way we keep in touch with the majority of friends from high school, college, and old jobs. They pile up like the stuff in that one Rubbermaid tub you've been moving with since 2004. Take the time to throw some of them out. If you don't talk to them now, you never will.

Ernest Wilkins, RedEye wingman, 26

1: No one gives a crap: Allow me to save you a bunch of time and money you'll blow moving to NYC to "find yourself." You're already here and no one gives a crap about what you do, do not do, think about doing, or care about. That stung a bit, yeah? It's true though. You can dye your hair purple, wear Uggs in public or juggle catfish on the Edens. No one will care except the increasingly shrinking number of people who love and care about you. Be happy by being who you want to be. (Unless you want to be a racist, that is.)

2: Stop comparing yourself to other people: You're starting to get to that age where you're older than most NBA players, not to mention Playboy centerfolds. Don't get discouraged if you haven't made the new Facebook or something, you are only in competition with your expectations. If you think you can beat the world in a certain category, go for it and hold nothing back, but there's no point in holding yourself to someone else's benchmark. Also, we all know Mark Zuckerberg is a super villain bent on world domination, so you should probably find a new idol anyway.

3: Create something: You know who are the worst kind of people? The aimless goons that never contribute anything to society but spend all the live-long day nitpicking moves other people make. Don't be one of those people. Whether it be a viral video, an herb garden or just some really good guacamole, create something that only you bring to the table. Actually, just make that guacamole. I'm starving.

4: Wash yourself. Yeah yeah, this should go without saying, but there are grown adults out here going to parties and bars smelling like a double buttburger with cheese. Stop embarrassing your damn family and take a shower. Not sure if you know if you stink or not? Err on the side of caution and BATHE. Good Lord.

5: Eat everything: I think it was Mr. T who once said, "Variety is the spice of life, fool." By this age, you'll know what you're into and what you think is gross. You'll also notice that there are literally hundreds of things you've never shoved in your word hole before. Get to shoving. If you don't like it? No one gets killed (unless you're eating human flesh, but that's a topic for a different column). You can also replace "eat" with "try"/ "hang out with"/ "drink".

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