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It's all over but the crying

December 08, 2011|By Bag Boy, For RedEye

Merry Christmas, Bears fans. It's over.

For all you Cutler haters out there, now you know. He's the best we got, and we're nothing without him. Sorry D, it's true.

Of course, this highlights another weakness: Jerry Angelo's stunning inability to evaluate offensive talent. Thanks for Caleb Hanie, Jerry. Reminds me of the year you stuck us with Jonathan Quinn and Craig Krenzel.

No one scours the earth harder to find more duds at quarterback than this guy. Jerry, humor me. Donovan McNabb. It can't be worse than Hanie.

Though it is Chicago. Hmm.

Matt Forte, don't hurry back. Cutler, same to you. Your future ex-wife needs you healthy for wedding-planning stuff. After that, they don't really need you. Weird.

I'm glad it ended early. I would have hated to see it drag on and interfere with that other monument of a broken institution, the BCS. It needs to be said. There has never been a bigger crock of you know what. Sure, it's all about wins and losses. Unless, of course, there is a more popular team that makes more money. So sit down, Michigan State and Boise State. We've got prettier, more popular girls to ask to this dance.

Greed. Pure and simple. That's all it is.

Good time of year for it, though, with the holidays and all. Enjoy.

It's also a good time of year for baseball talks. Hey, the White Sox are "rebuilding." Though I don't remember the last time they were built.

"Rebuilding" is code for "Please bear with us while we muck this up the next five years."

Mark Buehrle to the Marlins. With Ozzie. What else can we give to those coco butter doofi!*

For Cubs fans, congrats on Ron Santo getting in. He deserved it, and was beloved as anyone.

As for the team, I'm hearing noises about the big boys, but they sound like fake "Hey, we tried!" Cub offers and not real ones.

No special gifts this year, Cubs fans. Santo getting in will have to do.

*Not an actual word. Funny if it was though.

Bag Boy is a RedEye special contributor.

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